Inflammation of the Foot.

On Tuesday I got the call I have been desperately waiting for.  When I requested an MRI, I really wanted the MRI but this was 3 or 4 weeks ago.  I didn’t want to get an MRI when I felt as though I had seen a lot of improvement and my foot was healing.  So when the time came on Monday to get an MRI I was feeling indifferent.  I had been running relatively pain free.  At this point insurance was still covering an MRI and I would be at peace of mind to make sure I had no ripped muscles, torn tendons or anything more serious.  So I went in, got my MRI on both my ankle and foot, and left with a bunch of photos.  After staring at my MRI photos, I determined that I had a foot and ankle.  I waited for the doctor to call so we could compare notes.

So when they called on Tuesday my heart sank.  I always get nervous when doctors call me.  My doctor said “You have no torn muscles.  The last time a doctor called me was when he told me I had a large growth inside my foot which caused the muscle to rip off the bone.

This time the doctor said no ripped or torn tendons.  You have no broken bones and your foot is midly inflammed.  In a different location than PF so we ruled that out too.  Yes it’s in the arch of your foot but it’s just inflammed.  It looks like you are healing appropriately and can resume serious training”.

At first I was upset. (In my mind I heard: We have absolutely no idea what is going in your foot.) You are telling me this pain has all come from mild inflammation?  You don’t have a clear cut answer that I was injured?  Where is my ripped muscle that is healing?  Where is my proof that I was in pain?  Where is the proof to tell me I wasted a month?

I just wasted all of July poking around for a bunch of inflammation.  All I could think was…LOLZ “the one who always gets bootleg injuries”.  Then I realized…my inflammation has clearly decreased and that was indeed good news.If I had continued to run my inflammation would have continued to build up.  It went down because I decreased mileage and was smart about it.  My initial thought of “so that’s it?” was silly.

So with that I’m cleared to run…a lot…or a little…whatever I want to do.  (As long as I’m smart about it). I don’t really know where this takes me.  Technically I have 8 weeks to prepare for Wineglass.  I could be ready.  I wouldn’t be nearly as ready as I wanted to be but I would be ready.  I know many people could be ready for a marathon easily in 8 weeks.  One: this is my second marathon.  I haven’t done one in almost a year.  Two: I want to do well…finishing a marathon is great but I desperately wanted to PR.  That is a huge reason I chose Wineglass.  Could I still PR?  Maybe…that will take lady luck.

All of that being said I have still chosen the risky move.  I have decided that I will play it by ear and hopefully run the Wineglass full marathon.  If my foot gets worse, then I would stop training.  If it continues to get better I will begin to up my mileage.  As I’ve said the last month, it has been getting better, however, I haven’t raced on it (which I’m very much afraid too).

To be honest, I feel like I’ve lost all confidence in my running and in myself as a runner.  Both mentally and physically I am struggling to get back into the swing of things.  As I said earlier in the week, I found myself sick so this week isn’t even a celebratory “run all the miles” type of week.  Hopefully it’s a “run any sort of miles.

Right now while I want to complete Wineglass and I would love to PR, I also want to regain my confidence as a runner.  I have all the intentions to run Wineglass but my goals as a runner and a person have changed.  I want to feel confident in my running and as a person again.

So in cliff notes version: I spent a month cross training because my foot was inflammed.  I want to run Wineglass but I don’t want to injure myself by forcing miles nor do I want to feel pressured to hit a certain amount of miles.   I have no time goal for now.  I’ll let you know in another month if everything is going smoothly.

Question for you: Have you ever had an MRI?  On what?

This MRI stunk because I didn’t even get music to listen to.  I had to stare at a wall for an hour with no entertainment.  Not even the internet!  (insert shocked emojiX100 here)