I started believing then I started achieving
Originally I started blogging to share my story. A decade ago, I started running, and I didn’t know anyone else (really) that ran. So I started blogging to share my story. My ups include PRS, and my lows include injury, anxiety, and depression.
Over the last decade, blogging has drastically changed, and social media has too. I remember kicking my feet at getting a Twitter or that “new age” Instagram thing the kids were using. But now I have most of them.
While I continue to share my monthly training logs, now even Strava makes it a lot easier to share that there and I keep the blog to a once a month training recap.
But sometimes you want a good old long-form ramble about your life…shouting into the black hole that is the internet and wondering if anyone will read.
So, where does that leave me? It’s no secret I haven’t been in PR shape since around the spring of 2018. Coming off a break and burn out in 2017, I PRed in a half marathon. I rode that fitness to the fall, where I PRed in the marathon. After that, running seemingly fizzled out.
Over the last 18 months, I’ve run, but I haven’t been as “invested.” For most of 2019, I ran about 1/3rd of what I ran when I PRed. I also minimized speed workouts and things that help you build fitness. I had other things to keep me interested and engaged. I worked long days or have been busy with life. It’s not as if I haven’t been running because I have. I haven’t been mentally “all in” with running. Running has never come easy or naturally to me and I’ve never been a “star runner”. I’ve had to work extremely hard for any PR.
In summary, since early 2018, my runner has been lackluster. I stopped talking (or whining, I guess) about the disappointments. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about running, but I truly wasn’t putting in the dedication I once to PR.
Now that I’m running faster than I have in a while, people asked me what changed: Is it because I’m running more hills, more trails? But truthfully, I think it’s because I’m just running more.
So now, here I am talking about a corner I’m starting to come around…a corner I really wasn’t sure if I would ever turn.
So anyway, these days, I am once again getting faster. I am running times I haven’t seen in a while, and I feel like I’m starting to get back on a roll. Each week feels like I’m building a little more fitness. Last weekend I ran a hard effort 10 miles run faster than when I raced 10 miles in January. I looked down to see 6:30 on my watch at mile 10. How could this be me again?
That Wednesday, I ran a 20X1 min hard/easy workout, followed by a 6:20/6:21 mile. If 3 months ago, you told me I would be doing that that I would have laughed.
I was struggling to run a sub 20 minute 5k just a few months ago.
With each good workout, I feel more mentally invested in myself and my performance. I find myself more “excited” to do workouts and push myself hard. That hasn’t been the case over the last two years.
Moving to California has had its up and downs. It’s easy for people to say: “oh, your running pictures are pretty, so California must be wonderful”.
Running in California is usually beautiful. There is no shortage of beautiful scenery and parks to run. I enjoy the ability to run 1000 feet up mountains or stay completely flat on the rails to trails.
BUT, as we know, life exists out of running. It’s been a hard adjustment, especially during the pandemic when most things are shut down. I do my best and stay safe, but it’s very challenging to move across the country, let alone during a pandemic when it’s even more challenging to meet new people.
So, where am I going with all of this? What is the point?
It’s been fun over the last month to finally turn a corner.
Maybe I believe in myself a little more.
Maybe I’m just doing the work to get faster again.