Tim and I don’t get into fights…really ever. As you can probably guess I mostly laugh at drama…so that’s that. Except for one time when we were running together in Texas. It was a long run that we had not planned…I had asked for ten and it ended up being fifteen, it was hot, it was on trails (which I hate) and it was miserable because we weren’t talking. Not because we were in a fight (that comes later) but because we were running and sometimes when running we go for miles without talking…but we aren’t angry, it just happens. Not only were we running, the trail was somewhat narrow so we were running single file. So here I am already miserable, running on a single wide trail, not talking.
Tensions were rising (at least in my head).
I literally stopped nearly in tears and said: I hate dude running. Take me to the car and I’m getting my ipod or I’m done with the run. You can decide.
That is me in my drama queen moment at it’s finest. No, he didn’t take me to the car. No I didn’t get my ipod…I sucked it up buttercup and we finished 15 miles. We chatted a bit more but only because the trail widened and we could.
And that was the end of the one fight we ever got into…all about dude running because I wanted to chat.
Come to think of it, that is literally the only serious argument that I can think of Tim and I have gotten into…
So with that introduction, I thought about the differences between male and females running together. I really like to run with females a lot. (Girl power!) I can talk about boy drama, girl drama, gossip…everything and generally other females are the same way (it obviously always depends on personality type too) but by in large the females I have run with will chat the entire run. It’s fabulous and makes the miles go by so quickly.
I don’t have a lot of experience running with males. I do know watching the dymanics a lot from cross country running or just watching men run together because I’m creepy…they less tend to chat. Why run single file? It’s like some sort of male code that we are all running a race and cannot chat (which chatting during races is “frowned” upon anyways…I would erm know…not). But in my own personal observations of watching other men run together, they are not nearly as chatty or they might even run single file when completely unnecessary.
Not me. I’ll run with females gossiping over drama over that any day.
(Considering I’ve just told you I am more dramatic than a middle school female during runs, I know it makes you want to run with me)
Question for you:
Do you notice a difference in males working out together versus females?
Do you prefer working out solo, with others (male or female), or with large groups?
I must admit at the RC the women tend to be further back having a chat and the fellas at the front trying to out do each other in silence!
I run with guys a lot because I have a limited number of female friends who will run with me on long runs. I have to say it really depends on the guy… some of the older men I run with, all they want to do is talk. One man is like listening to a military/professional football/history podcast without having to wear headphones. No lie. Sometimes I wonder if it bugs the guys, but a lot of times they welcome the conversation… I guess you just gotta know your male running partner to know. And of course at certain paces you just can’t really talk.
Now females who pretty much only run with other females… at least in our running group, it’s very chatty :).
I go back and forth…sometimes I prefer working out on my own and sometimes I prefer being in a large group. I do find though that working out in a large group motivates me to work harder and not give-up when I’m ready to call it quits.
When it comes to long runs, running with one of my close friends is the best. Running alone always clears my head but when we go together we vent about all of our problems and what’s going on with our lives and it makes me feel SO much better!
That’s awesome that you can run with your closest friends! I know I met some of my closest friends like Laura through running and boy do we vent when we run together..but we also do that in real life too LOL.
i’m not sure. i also know chatty dudes & silent women. some folk are just a bit introvert and love the quiet company that you can have on a run. it’s like when you’re on a long road trip with a good friend and at some point you pass the threshold were you don’t need to talk anymore. i dunno — it can be quite pleasant and intimate. i think in general there’s more acceptance towards silent dudes (“deep” and self-sufficient — the hemmingway kind a guy) than towards silent women (either “socially awkward” or arrogant — the highschool movie girl with the thick glasses vs. the cheerleader). unfair, but it’s what we learn to expect, and often that does’t do justice to the individuals in question.
I agree with this completely Henning. I think it really depends on someones personality type as well!
Hilarious girl! I loved this…I’d run with you lol 😉
And its true about dude running. When I run with my wife, who is way faster and has way more endurance, she wants to talk as well. She has the earbud in one ear so she can hear me in the other. I like the silence so I can focus lol…but we come to a middle ground 😉
But Gym Time is My Time…all solo, unless I am training someone and then I am not really working out anyway. I seem to get more done that way.
Enjoy the day!
The other day I read this areticle on runner’s world. It is very interesting and well-explained. So your drama queen moment is totally understandable. For one I never work out with my boyfriend since he tends to get all quiet and I keep thinking “what is wrong?”.
http://m.runnersworld.com/womens-running/can-love-and-running-coexist?cm_mmc=NL-Womens-_-1298860-_-05222013-_-Can-Love-and-Running-Coexist%3F
funny, I just posted a photo of that yesterday because I thought it was hilarious and so well timed! It made me feel a lot better though running with females more often that have the same general demeanor as me!
LOVE IT! I run with a group of guys and girls a lot. And both are pretty chatty. One of my fave running partners is a guy (and a colleague) who tells the BEST stories. “Did I ever tell you about the time my car was stolen and returned….three times?” We even started a hashtag for him #onlywithgary yeah, its never a dull moment!
LOL, that particular male I would run with. I love never dull moment runners.
There was an article in last month’s edition of “Runner’s World” about running with your significant other (the comment above me mentions it), and you nailed this post on the head. The story said women tend to me more chatty and caring (“How’s the pace? Do you feel OK?”), whereas guys are exactly the opposite. Since joining my triathlon team, I run with guys more, but simply because they’re in my pace group or slightly faster, so they push me. But, I’ll run with anyone–I’m flexible! 🙂
I noticed this yesterday running with two guys at the running club I joined. It was almost a silent run except the occasional “maybe I shouldn’t have drank those 60 beers this weekend…” And when I was in Missouri, my friend wanted to run with music in his ears. That was my first experience dude running and I was kind of put off by it until I realized guys just don’t talk when they run. Weird. I like gossipy runs.
Hahaha that’s really funny. I hate running with people that don’t talk! I either need to be talking or I need music! I love running with girls, and I don’t mind running with my man-friend, but he runs so fast, I end up feeling like I’m dying and then I get frustrated.. hahaha he’s super nice about it though, and I know it’s good if he pushes me!
Exactly, point blank I need to be talking when I’m doing an easy or casual run or the miles go by so slow. Or I like music. All those years of swimming and staring at the bottom of the pool have ruined me…
While I won’t claim to speak for all dudes, there is clearly a difference in running with men and women. I definitely prefer to run with a group, especially if it is a long run and, if that is the case, I would choose the company of women. My experience in running with guys is that we tend to talk less and the conversation is more superficial. My runs with female friends usually include conversations that are more involved, which makes the miles pass more quickly and pleasantly, especially when the conditions are less than ideal. Here’s to the ladies!
Steve, you are the best. I’ll come run in Suffolk with you if you ever want. We can talk politics, real life, fake life, running, any sports, hampton roads…whatever you like!
Love to have you along Hollie! Although I would be eating your dust. Saturday is our first long run getting ready for MCM. In fact, I think our MCM group is all women, except me. Ha!
Guys talk about girls and dirty things when they run. Or at least that’s what our immature college xc teammates talked about on long runs 😛
I would probably kill Jeff if we ran together. I am a solo runner because I can’t really talk and run. I feel winded so quickly. The best kind of running buddy for me is one that likes to put their ear buds in and zone out and run. Also one that doesn’t make me feel like I have to keep up with them or vice versa.
I’ve run with guys a lot before and there are only minor differences. Here are my observations: They tend not to chat unless its known they are going for an easy run-they do gossip (they just don’t like/use the word because of the negative connotation. Plus girls do it) and make fun of each other. If the run is anything but easy, chatting isn’t done. Single ile isn’t really the norm but as its more about competition, they’ll just subconsciously get into that form.
This is great. I can hardly run with my wife because she wants me to slow down or talk or I’m too far ahead. The f’n list goes on and on and on. JUST RUN! We don’t have to talk we just need to put one foot in front of the other.
The one place we can run and have a great time is the trail. I am not a trail runner and she is so she takes the lead and the pace is fast enough for her but I have to slow down to not break my neck and it is single file which also allows us to keep in touch with each other.
Now when I run with buddies we talk but it is nothing deep (unless one of us is getting divorced…..that has happened) but usually about paces and heart rates and effort. Karen tells me about the conversations she has with her girlfriends and it amazes me the depths to which they can go.
Definitely a difference between men and women.
I love running alone but obviously I have experience running with groups of males/females at run club and also with my old running partner dan. Women do tend to be chattier but dan and I do chat now and again on runs, we are ok with silence and also talk if we are on trails or going slower. When the pace is fast no one tends to chat even though I would always be up for it!
It is nice socialising and running but when it comes to the serious training runs I like to be alone. But then again I like running half marathons with other people.
I’m basically a mixmatch runner! I have great convos with myself on the runs! I definitely think some people (from what I can tell at run club) do like to be with other people even if they aren’t talking – alot of people don’t tend to like running alone – they feel motivated by a group!
I prefer to do long runs (or at least part of them) with someone else, keeps me from giving up and also makes the time/miles go more quickly. I do like to run solo also though, I think it’s important to be able to do both. My female run partners are MUCH chattier than the guys I’ve run with.
I have to admit to being a chatty dude, except when in a race and I have the game hat on. Also, I love trail running! If I could have a high paying full time job running trails, shit, just sign me up! Back to chattiness, some fast girls get talking and I feel like that guy in the car stuck behind another car with the driver who has the cell phone jammed up against the ear. Kind of annoying. But I do ease drop some times and wonder, ‘really, shampoo is all you have to talk about?’ (only the men in black get to ease drop on the cell phone calls).
My ex and I used to do short runs together and I asked him questions nonstop and talked and he’d just be like, “I don’t talk when I run. Stop asking me questions.” Lame.
I agree! My husband doesn’t talk when we run! I always have to start a conversation, then he would answer and that’s it. Unlike running with girls we can talk about anything!
I can totally relate. 🙂
I like having a chat on runs. It really helps things move along nicely. I can run and chat easily with my hubby because I have a faster pace than him and so I go slower than I would on my own, which means easier chatting. But he is going faster and can’t chat back. Perfect scenario to get all my wifely complaints off my chest 😉
I ran with someone one time and it was during the Color Run. She had headphones in so we barely spoke. That was also the first time she ran 3.1 miles so she said, “I can’t talk.. I’ll die”. Otherwise, I couldn’t really say whether I chat or not because I’ve always run solo. I definitely think guys would be less chatty because they don’t really gossip or share personal things as much as girls do!
See, the only guy that I’ve ever run with is Travis and it was 2 miles aka enough time to not be bored with each other. I like girls better for swimming though – more motivating! Guys are dumb haha. Dude running SUCKS.
I prefer to do any kind of working out with other females. Granted, I haven’t done a lot of workouts with males, but if the conversations I have texting translate over to the conversations that I’ll have while working out, then it’s not even a question… gossip and drama definitely trump those awkward, one-sided why-is-he-only-answering-my-questions conversations…
I’m definitely a solo runner (workouter). I don’t like making people wait on me since I am so slow. But on the flip side, when I’m doing weights, I don’t want to wait on someone else.
I’ve never really thought about it before but I’m definitely a girl runner. All of my running friends are girls; sure I have guy friends that run but they aren’t my “I’m going to meet my friends for a run” type friends. (Kudos to you if you actually understood what I meant by that sentence.) Plus I’m kind of old fashioned and respect my husband too much to spend a 2-3 hour long run with a guy.
Not gonna lie, the only dude I have ever enjoyed running with was the guy that I dated in college….mainly because he is like a girl and talks more than most girls I’ve met – and knows all the gossip lol. But yeah if I’m going to run with someone, there has to be conversation….if I want silence I run alone lol. we would probably make pretty awesome chatty running partners!
I’ve never gone on a run with guys other than my coach so I don’t know too much about dude running. And my coach had been coaching girls track and cross country for 10 years so he is practically an honorary girl as far as talking on runs goes. I think after 10 miles of single file and not a lot of talking I would not be happy either!!
Definitely a difference. If my husband & I run together, I do most of the talking. We’ve recently moved, and as I’ve tested out new running groups, I have to remind myself that guys just don’t talk as much (I start thinking they are unfriendly/don’t like me, because there’s no chatter while running).
Furthermore, when I coach groups of runners, the women are often making friends, chatting, and encouraging each other. The guys are all trying to out-do each other. Frankly, it makes it very hard to keep them safe, because every run turns into a competition. Testosterone…
Oh man, I’m writing so late that I have nothing original to add! Jeff and I have had some pretty intense arguments on runs, but man they are actually pretty therapeutic. It’s always because I want to talk and he doesn’t!!!
Yes, when I’m with the ladies I always talk the whole time! It’s the BEST feeling!!!
When I’m with random guys I make them talk, asking lots of questions and stuff. I just want to make connections when I’m running or learn something about the person, or running, or life, so I try to get as much as out people as possible!
Can’t speak to running, but as far as gym training goes I prefer to work out alone. That said, my ideal gym environment will have other serious people – male or female – training around me but not communicating with me. (Smiles and very short comments are ok.) I’m female, but I hate chatter during training.
Running I love to have people to chat with…the few times (read maybe once a week) I go to the gym I like to get in and get out and don’t want or need anyone to chat with!
Running with women can be great (especially you, heather and Jen!), love being able to chat the whole time it makes the time go by so much faster.
Before John hurt his knees and we could run together, we actually talked a decent amount while running, it did wonders for us. We would talk a little then be quiet for a bit then start a new conversation. But I think he is the exception and not the rule when it comes to that, most guys just don’t like to chat like we do
I have only ever run with my dad. I would love to try running with someone. I think I might like the occasional chatting and I think my dad is opposite because he normally replies in short sentences when I start talking lol
I like all kinds of running, that said I don’t really like to talk much while I am running. Mike and I run together a lot and we rarely say anything to each other (other than a random comment or two, or trying to figure out which way to go). If we are running with someone slower than us, I can carry on a conversation pretty well but I still usually prefer to listen.
That’s probably why I liked swimming so much, you can’t really carry on a conversation while practicing (except in between sets)!
I’ve definitely had meltdowns while running with Mike, like sitting on a log and crying that I wasn’t going to continue but then I did. And then sometimes we argue about if we are going the right way or not (more so on the bike).
I think it’s kind of awesome that you and Tim don’t fight. That’s a good sign!!
I have run with my brother before, and he’s always baffled by how much I talk. He just listens to me as I chat about girl stuff, haha.
haha funny post! i’m actually the other way around I find that I can’t run as well and as long if i’m running with someone, i’m just constantly out of breath cuz of the chatting. So when my bf and I run, he does all the chatting and I just kind of nod haha.
If I’m running I much prefer running with my girl friends than guy friends. If I’m in the gym though, I prefer to just be by myself. I love being able to chat on long runs though too!
So yeah… I’m a dude runner haha half the time we run together Jason is iPod less and I’m zoned out to mine. He knows I’m too dead to talk and doesn’t bother me tho lol