Wedding Dress Shopping

Trying on wedding dresses taught me a lot of things.  I obviously won’t be posting any photos of my wedding dress or anything remotely close to it (yes I found one because I’m not about to go multiple times to multiple places). I found some really humerous ones (to me) that filled up my LOLZ tank.

If you know me you know I’m an off the rack buyer.  I look at clothing, think it looks nice and buy it.  I don’t try things on in stores…Since half of my clothing purchases are made online anyways, it doesn’t matter to me.

My mom asked a month ago if I wanted to make a dress appointment.  I responded with: “I haven’t tried on clothing in stores for the last 2 years so I wouldn’t be starting now with wedding dresses.” I was kidding of course, but that obviously didn’t go over well.  Honestly I never spent a great deal of time on pinterest or looking at wedding dresses because I am not 5’10 and 120 pounds…they wouldn’t look the same on me as in a photo…unless I photoshopped my face onto said photo.

I tried on the first dress and that ultimately was the dress I liked the best.  I tried on multiple dresses to compare and to rule things out that maybe I liked or didn’t.

I had made several rules before I went shopping.  All of which I told my consultant (who was fabulous).

  1. I don’t want my butt crack to show. I don’t know why these lower back wedding dresses are trendy but I would prefer my booty covered.
  2. I don’t want anything see through. Why do brides want a wedding dress where they are basically getting married in a bra with a bunch of lace on top…that’s weird.
  3. I don’t want a puffy, ball gown. It’s not my style mostly because I don’t like weight training and those dresses are heavy.
  4. Similary I don’t want a dress I can’t twerk in. If I can’t booty pop to my girl Nikki Minaj, it’s not happening.
  5. I don’t want a b’dazzled dress. That seems heavy, itchy and not me.

I was of course, willing to try anything.  I don’t care because bridal dress consultants know what they are doing…I do not.  If I did I would be a wedding dress consultant.  I told her I was willing to try anything on but I was not holding back my remarks.  (I’m glad she enjoyed my humor/commentary to each dress).

This was not a contendor.  First the dress was 500 pounds and second I swear it was asexually multipling.  It kept getting bigger and bigger (like my hair in the summertime).

wedding dress

The second was a beautiful turkey style dress.  After scouring the country and plucking feathers from several turkeys and birds, I put together this flapper style wedding dress.  I think it was a cross between a flapper and a turkey.  As they say the bird is the word.

Wedding Dress
This photo does not do the feathers justice.

Another dress I tried on was the lacy bedazzled belt.  I’m pretty sure the belt cost more than what I make paycheck wise in a year.  The dress was nice but not my style either.  It was a bit better than the feather flapper and asexual reproducing dress…enough that I took a halfway normal photo with my future flower girl.


Ultimately after comparing and contrasting dresses, I went with the first one I tried on.  It just taught me that I don’t need to try things on and can continue my terrible method of purchasing clothing right off the rack. I had a lot of fun.  I left feeling good and excited.  I also left thinking maybe I could design dresses.  I could just throw some things together and some bride would like it?  Right?

Two hours is a long time to stand in front of a mirror staring at yourself.  It was like a selfie that never ended.

Questions for you:

Brides: How many dress stores did you go too?  Did you enjoy trying on dresses?

Do you like clothes shopping?  Do you try on clothes in general?