military, Personal

Four Years of Marriage

Four years ago was the best day of my life because my husband and I got married.  We had a wonderful wedding, and there is nothing we would have wanted differently.

As most people know, he is in the military and has been gone a lot.  While his deployments aren’t long (about two months), they are frequent and so are his other trips.  I won’t say it’s been easy and there have been plenty of hard days. I will say we are still as happy as the day we met.

Today I knew today I wanted to post about our anniversary but had no idea what to post.  I finally settled on a “how we met post.”  Many long term readers know “how we met,” but many people don’t. I’m always interested to see how other people met their significant other, so I thought I would share.

So How Did We Meet?

My husband and I met during college cross country season in 2011.  It was a scrimmage race between our respected two universities.

Tim ended up winning the scrimmage race for men, and I won for females. After the scrimmage, we talked for a while and went on a run a few weeks later.   Cross country season went by, and we still chatted after the season.  During this time, I was coming back from my first serious running injury a tibial stress fracture.  Tim did multiple sports and was getting ready for ski season.  Since cross country was over, and he was no longer running competitively, running at a slower pace didn’t matter.  I was running easy after my injury, and he was running easy just to run.

YAY an old school college picture.

Eventually, after several runs, we hung out outside of running. When the semester ended, we both went to our hometowns for the winter break. Tim drove down to Virginia Beach and visited for New Years.

Later in the spring, we officially started “officially dating”.  I was blogging at the time, and I don’t think I even mentioned on the blog: OMG you guys, a new boy in my life”.

In May of 2012, we both graduated from college and decided to try a long distance relationship.  Our options at that point were long distance or break up.

Tim went to Air Force Undergraduate Pilot school in Texas, and I began working in Oswego, NY.  During that time, we both learned a lot about ourselves, interests and hobbies.  We went just over six months without seeing each other.  It was one of the hardest times of our relationship but worth it.  The first time we saw each other again was that Thanksgiving, and it was as if nothing had changed.

My first visit to Texas

After Thanksgiving, we saw each other again for Christmas, then in March and in May. It was a lot easier than the first few months.  After nearly a year of distance, we made the decision I would move to Texas. As much as I enjoyed my job in Oswego, I wanted to continue my relationship with Tim, and we had to eventually move (he did not have that choice).

In Texas, they have these for decoration…
Winning a growler at a half marathon in Texas

Then in late 2013, Tim graduated his pilot training, and we were told we would be moving to New Jersey. Neither of us knew anything about NJ (except people drive very quickly on the Turnpike).

I’ve now lived in NJ for five years, and I love it. We never thought we would stay here this long, but I don’t mind. I’ve made incredible friends, I enjoy my job and there is always something to do.  We are only a few miles from Philadelphia and a short (3-6 hour) drive from both of our parents, New York City and Baltimore.

On April 1, 2014, Tim proposed to me.  It was exactly what I wanted, low key and at our house.  We are low key, and I could not have asked for a better proposal.  As much as we both love running, proposing at a race or in front of hundreds of people is not either of our scenes.  Neither are big crowds or making a huge scene.

 

Engagement photo

Even though we lived in New Jersey, we decided to get married in my hometown area in Norfolk, Virginia.  We spent a year wedding planning and got married on April 12, 2015.  While planning a wedding further away was more difficult, it wasn’t as stressful because we both have such supportive and helpful parents. For each of the things. We couldn’t have dreamed for a better day.

After our wedding, we took a few days to relax and went straight on our honeymoon.  We decided to spend a few days in Key West and go on a cruise in the Carribean.  It was a great vacation, and it was perfect.

Then a few days after we got home, he was deployed for a while.  For the first six months of our marriage, he was gone for just over 4.  Afterward, he was home for a bit more, but for the past four years, he has been a lot.

Throughout the first few years of marriage, we have learned a lot about ourselves and each other.  Even though I grew up as a military child, being a spouse much different.  It’s not always easy, but the time we do have together makes it worth it.  I’m also thankful for my family and friends who help me get by.

We aren’t able to celebrate today, but that is okay. We might talk today; we might not.  It doesn’t mean I love my husband any less.  I could not ask for a better person in my life.

Although we met through running and it’s a part of both our lives we do a lot of other things together too.

Flying together

new york city private flying

 

 

grand canyon north rim
Visiting the Grand Canyon

hiking flagstaff mountain boulder

Here are some other posts about my husband and I (or just my husband): 
Wedding Post
Honeymoon
Flying Together
Tim’s Recap of the Mercedes Marathon

Questions for you: How did you meet your spouse?  When is your anniversary? 

 

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Personal

Two Years of Marriage

Two years ago was the best day of my life because my husband and I got married.  Everything went perfectly, and there is nothing we would have wanted differently.

As most people know, he is in the military and has been gone for almost exactly one of those years.  While his deployments aren’t long (about 2 months), they are frequent and so are his other trips.  I won’t say it’s been easy and there have been plenty of hard days. I will say we are still as happy as the day we met.

Today I knew today I wanted to post about our anniversary but had no idea what to post.  I finally settled on a “how we met post”.  I’m always interested to see how other people met their significant other so I thought I would share.

So How Did We Meet?

My husband and I met during college cross country season in 2011.  We met at a scrimmage race between our respected two universities.

Tim ended up winning the scrimmage race for men, and I won for females. After the scrimmage, we talked for a while and went on a run a few weeks later.   Cross country season went by, and we still chatted after the season.  During this time, I was coming back from my first serious running injury a tibial stress fracture.  Tim did multiple sports and was getting ready for ski season.  Since cross country was over, and he was no longer running competitively, running at a slower pace didn’t matter.  I was running easy after my injury and he was running easy just to run.

YAY an old school college picture.

Eventually, after several runs, we hung out outside of running. When the semester ended, we both went to our hometowns for winter break. Tim drove down to Virginia Beach and visited for New Years.

Later in the spring, we officially started “officially dating”.  I was blogging at the time, and I don’t think I even mentioned on the blog: OMG you guys, new boy in my life”.  It’s been a theme of the past 6 years, we’ve been happy but he isn’t a large part of the blog.

In May of 2012, we both graduated college and decided to try doing a long distance relationship.  Our options at that point were to try and do a distance relationship or break up.

Tim went to Air Force pilot school in Texas, and I began working in Oswego, NY.  During that time, we both learned a lot about ourselves, interests and hobbies.  We went just over 6 months without seeing each other.  It was one of the hardest times of our relationship but worth it.  The first time we saw each other again was that Thanksgiving, and it was as if nothing had changed.

My first visit to Texas

After Thanksgiving, we saw each other again for Christmas, then in March and in May. It was a lot easier than the first few months.  After nearly a year of distance, we made the decision I would move to Texas. As much as I enjoyed my job in Oswego, I wanted to continue my relationship with Tim and we had to eventually move (he did not have that choice with me).

In Texas, they have these for decoration…
Winning a growler at a half marathon in Texas

Tim graduated his pilot training, and we were told we would be moving to New Jersey. Neither of us knew anything about NJ (except people drive very quickly on the Turnpike) in October 2014.

We’ve now lived in New Jersey 3.5 years and I truly say I love it.  I’ve made incredible friends, I enjoy my job and there is always something to do.  We are only a few miles from Philadelphia and short drive from both of our parents, New York City and Baltimore.

On April 1, 2014, Tim proposed to me.  It was exactly what I wanted, low key and at our house.  We are low key, and I could not have asked for a better proposal.  To be honest, as much as we love running, proposing at a race or in front of hundreds of people is not either of our scene.

 

Engagement photo

Even though we lived in New Jersey, we made the decision to get married in my hometown area in Norfolk, Virginia.  We spent a year wedding planning and got married on April 12, 2015.  While planning a wedding further away was more difficult, it wasn’t as stressful because we both have such supportive and helpful parents.  We couldn’t have dreamed for a better day.

After our wedding, we took a few days to relax and went straight on our honeymoon.  We decided to spend a few days in Key West and go on a cruise in the Carribean.  It was a great vacation, and it was perfect.

Then a few days after we got home, he was deployed for a while.  For the first 6 months of our marriage, he was gone for just over 4.  Afterward, he was home for a bit more, but in the past 2 years, he has been gone for over a year.

Throughout the first two years of marriage, we have learned a lot about ourselves and each other.  Even though I grew up as a military child, being a spouse much different.  It’s not always easy, but the time we do have together makes it worth it.  I’m also thankful for my family and friends who help me get by.

As most people know, he is away now.  We might talk today, we might not.  It doesn’t mean I love my husband any less.  I could not ask for a better person in my life.

Flying together
Hiking Bear Mountain and when we actually saw a bear

Here are some other posts about my husband and I (or just my husband): 
Wedding Post
Honeymoon
Flying Together
Tim’s Recap of the Mercedes Marathon

DailyMusings

Weekly Happenings

As I mentioned, Tuesday was my husband and I’s anniversary.  We were lucky he was home and able to spend it together.

We went to a local seafood and steak restaurant called Giumarellos.  It was good food, but it wasn’t my favorite restaurant.  We’ve been to better, but we’ve also been to worse. It wasn’t about the food but celebrating our relationship.  Many people asked if we were going to celebrate at a diner…if only the first year “anniversary gift” was sugar.

Tim and I

Afterwards, we came home to enjoy our year old wedding cake.  To be honest, I have been looking forward to having our wedding cake since we got married last year.

blue velvet wedding cake

blue velvet wedding cake 1

We chose a “blue velvet cake”.  Red velvet cake is my favorite type of cake, but our wedding color was blue, so we had it dyed.  Honestly, it tasted delicious and I liked it as much the second time around.  I ate most, if not all, of the frosting that night.

From our wedding...
From our wedding…

Other than celebrating our anniversary last week, we haven’t been up to a whole heck of a lot.  I have a rare weekend off, and we will be continuing the celebrations.  It’s rare that both of us have the weekend off together.

Hopefully, everyone has a great weekend.  It’s finally supposed to be great weather, so I’m looking forward to that.  Finally, good luck to everyone running Boston on Monday.  It looks like good weather!

Posts from the week:
One Year of Marriage
How to Run with a Significant Other
29 Half Marathons Later

Questions for you:
Married Couples: How did you celebrate your first anniversary?
What is your favorite cake? 

wedding

One Year of Marriage

Today is my husband and I’s first year anniversary.  Many of LOLZ readers know how we met and our love story, but it’s fun to reshare.

aisle 2

 Here is a quick summary:

We met running in college.  We dated for the second half of senior year then maintained a long-distance relationship for a year and a half after college.  I decided to move to Texas, September of 2013 and we promptly moved to New Jersey after.  After living in NJ for a while, we got on engaged April Fools Day 2014.  A year of wedding planning went by and we got married April 12, 2015.  Now we just finished year one of marriage.  Good thing I blog so I can remember everything. 

But here is the longer version:

In the fall of 2011, we met at a cross country scrimmage race between our colleges.  After the scrimmage, we talked for a while and went on a run a few weeks later.  During that time, I was coming back from my tibia stress fracture.  I wasn’t supposed to worry about pace.  It was towards the end of the season so my goal was to make it through the season healthy.  I barely ran with my own team, let alone some random guy I had the hots for.

We didn’t run together until after the cross country season but we occasionally chatted.  I was knee deep in a recent college major change and Tim was a chemical engineer, so we were both busy. When we finally ran together in November, Tim was getting ready for Nordic skiing so his focus wasn’t pace or time either.  Running at a slower pace didn’t matter.

Eventually after several runs, we hung out. By that time, the semester was over and it was time to go home for winter break.  I grew up in VA Beach and he grew up in PA so we didn’t live close.

Tim actually came down and hung out for New Years.  We ran the Beat the Ball 5k as well as the Hair of the Dog 5k.

In the spring, we started “officially dating”.  I think I even mentioned on the blog: OMG you guys, a new boy in my life”  (just kidding).  I don’t even know how it came up through blogging…

This was about 3 years ago at the greatest night out in my life. I won a contest rapping Nicki Minaj superbass.
This was about 3 years ago at the greatest night out in my life.
I won a contest rapping Nicki Minaj super bass.

In May of 2012, we graduated and decided to try a long distance relationship.  Our options at that point were to try a distance relationship or break up.  Tim went to school in Texas and I began working in Oswego, NY.

The first few months were tough. By November, we were able to see each other for the first time since June.  I loved my time in Oswego and it was one of the most pivotal and influential years of my life.  I am so glad I chose to go there but it was hard to not be together.

My first visit to Texas
My first visit to Texas

After Thanksgiving, we saw each other again for Christmas, then in March and in May. As we adjusted, it was easier.  After nearly a year, we made the decision I would move to Texas.  As much as I enjoyed my job in Oswego, I wanted to continue my relationship with Tim and had to move eventually (he did not have that choice).

Less than two weeks after I moved to the middle of nowhere, Texas, Tim graduated his training. We were told we were moving to New Jersey. Neither of us knew anything about NJ except people drive quickly on the turnpike.

Tim's flight school graduation
Graduation

After living in New Jersey for 2+ years, we both love the area.  It’s close to Philadelphia, New York City, the shore and both of our families.   It’s the perfect location for us right now.

We got married on April 12, 2015, in Norfolk, VA.  We truly had a wonderful time at our wedding and were lucky so many friends and family that could attend.  We took our wedding as a celebration and party and that’s exactly what it was.

After getting married, we went on a honeymoon and cruise.  It was one of the best vacations of my life.

Southern Most Point
Southern Most Point

Due to travel and work, my husband has been gone about half of our first year of marriage.  It wasn’t a secret this would happen.  I can’t say it’s been easy all of the time but we have made it work.

To be honest, it hasn’t been a crazy transformation or change since getting married.  We lived together for over a year before getting married so there were many quirks we were both familiar with.  Like any couple, we’ve had our ups and downs but we try to support each other through everything.

I feel so lucky to be celebrating our first year of marriage and many more.

Some of my favorite moments together:

Going to my college roommates wedding
Going to my college roommates wedding
Visiting Texas
Visiting Texas
Winning a growler at a half marathon in Texas
Winning a growler at a half marathon in Texas
Our first Christmas Tree
Our first Christmas Tree

Hollie & Tim-695-X2

Honeymoon
Honeymoon…because why not buy these shirts?
Tim and I
Enjoying the Jersey Shore
The one time our fitness was at the same point...
The one time our running fitness was at the same point…

wedding 9

Here are some of the wedding posts if you want to look back on those:
Rejected Wedding Ideas
Lengthy Wedding Post
The Wedding

First dance
First dance

As always, thank you to friends and family for your love and support.  It feels amazing to celebrate our first year of marriage together and we could not be happier.

Personal, Reads

Digging Out of a Hole

April Fools Day is kind of a weird day for me. My blog FueledByLOLZ would cause you to assume I’m the queen of pranks and funny jokes today.  Believe it or not, I’m not. I debated even posting this but at the end of the day, April 1st is like any day.  It’s a memorable day for some and a day that gets pushed away by others.

I also have a lot of personal friends that read my blog, and I wondered what they would think reading this post about my struggles.  Many knew me throughout my highest anxiety points and had no idea.  Many friends had an idea but never said anything.

On April 1st, 2014 my husband proposed to me.  We had been dating for a while, lived together and even moved together.

engagement photo 3

We began dating during an already turmoiled senior year of college.  Then maintained a year and a half of long distance and eight months of living together.

Living together only reinforced our relationship. I made the decision in 2013 to move from New York to Texas, and I had no idea what to expect.  I’ll never regret my choice.

The day after I moved in, I got a knot in my hair.  It took over an hour to get the knot out but instead of remaining calm, I was in hysterics over a trivial knot.

Just thinking about Texas and my hair is huge....
Just thinking about Texas and my hair is huge….

He asked, why don’t you just cut the knot out?

I still think that could be a front runner of the most dramatic moment of our relationship.  It caused me to panic immediately and get more upset.  But of course, he remained calm and helped me work through the knotty situation. An hour and bottle of conditioner later…it was over.

Since then, he has been the calmer half and voice of reason.  I panic and get upset, and he calms me down.

A long time ago, I blogged more about social anxiety and depression.  I dealt with depression more in college and social anxiety after college.

Between working in Oswego, NY as well as living in Texas, I found myself isolated.  I felt as if I was always moving and making new friend groups.  After I had moved to Texas, I was more stressed and anxious because I had no family or friends, no job and nothing to do.  We were 180 miles in the middle of nowhere. I had blogging, of course, but you can only enjoy blogging for a certain amount of hours, and you can only apply for outside jobs for so long…

There is a real world outside of the computer screen…

Even harder about the military lifestyle is if you aren’t married, you don’t receive the same benefits as a spouse who is.  The city we lived in Texas is centered around the base, so there were a lot of obstacles we faced.  Obstacles that added more stress and anxiety into my life and in turn, Tim’s life.  Unlike where we live now, the base was the only thing to do.

And run to the border of Mexico...
And run to the border of Mexico…

However, I chose to move to Texas.  I wouldn’t have learned so much along the way without.  I did, however, notice old tendencies from college slowly creeping back.  I began sinking into depression and with more anxiety than I had felt before. 

When we found out we were moving to NJ
When we found out, we were moving to NJ

When we found out we were moving to New Jersey, it was a relief.  I’m sure I would have found my way in Texas, but NJ is a short drive to our immediately friends and family.  It is a much better fit for us.  September-December of 2014 flew by, and the change was good for me.  I assimilated well into the Garden State and had so much on my plate with unpacking; I didn’t have time to breath.

moving box meme

Then the Garden State Honeymoon period wore off.

I had a very successful but often gone boyfriend; I couldn’t find a sustainable job, and I was struggling to make friends.  My depression and anxiety began to creep through the cold winter months.  I made friends through (the then small) Oiselle team  I had a solid two friends, but that didn’t help finding a job.  I applied to things in my field (public health) and outside of it (running stores as well as a couple of hospitals).  I sent follow up emails but went weeks without hearing anything back.

Anxiety is different for everyone.  Someone might struggle in overwhelming social settings like parties, but someone else might struggle with mental and personal thoughts.  Personally, I battle with second guessing everything I do.  Not in an average way but a way that can lead to panic attacks.  A way that I have received help throughout the years.

Even when jobs weren’t calling me back, my husband reassured me I would be fine.  We were financially fine, and I was making a small living, but I found myself spending weeks isolated.  Maybe that’s when I made the goal of traveling New Jersey to go to every diner, but I can’t be sure. 

It’s odd to look back and say “my boyfriend” but he supported me throughout everything.

He supported me through anxiety ridden meltdowns to even telling me: no, don’t work there, you will be miserable (and that was most definitely true).

Fast forward to late March 2014.  I was running again; I had just begun working at a local running store, and my anxiety was dwindling.  A long six months after moving to New Jersey my life was slowly coming together.   Even though on paper I should have been happy, I still felt as if I wasn’t providing enough or not doing enough.

On April 1st, I was in the midst of another meltdown.

Anxiety is funny that way; you can be happy, sad or somewhere in between.

You never know, and there is no way to predict it.  At the time I was crying my eyes out, sad…for what reason I can’t remember.  I had gotten over it by the evening, but I was still in a funky mood.  Was I going to go to bed sad again?  It never adds up either…my life was coming together.  I had a job; my running was going well, and I was making friends.  For some reason that is always unknown, I had anxiety.

Tim proposed me to that evening.  I was shocked, and it didn’t feel real.  It took me a couple of seconds to not be as shocked but of course, I said yes.

wedding 9

That was a great week for me.  I got engaged and ran a half marathon PR. 

The engagement wasn’t a band-aid to fix my anxiety.  It wasn’t a cover up to make everything feel better, but it was a turning point in my life.  For a reason, I can’t explain it was the start of building myself out of a hole that I had dug for myself.

Throughout the wedding process, my husband was there for me when he could be.  The wedding planning took up plenty of time, but it wasn’t ever that stressful.  Another interesting point of anxiety is that it can make you very Type A in a certain situation and laid back in certain situations.  The wedding was one situation I was laid back.

So where am I now?

I’m reflecting and thinking about where life has taken me in the last few years.  If you asked me three years ago:

Would I be living in NJ and loving it?  I would have laughed.

If you had asked me two years ago: Would depression be out of my life? I would have also probably laughed.

If you had asked me a year ago: where I see myself after one year of marriage…I don’t know what I would have said.  I would have laughed to buy time but, to be honest, I’m not sure what I would have said.

First dance

While depression is something I am currently not dealing with, anxiety is something I always will.  There are periods my anxiety is worse and periods where it is almost nonexistent.  I would not consider it a day of day battle but I also wouldn’t consider it over either.

My husband has been there for me throughout everything.  Throughout the good, the bad and the ugly.  Throughout trivial meltdowns that I can’t explain and the highs and lows.  Social anxiety will be something I will deal with off and on, but the major battles are thankfully in the past.  April 1st will always have a different meaning to me.

Our wedding Anniversary is on April 12, 2015, so I’ll have more of a story then. 

At the Sunset outdoors