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Four Years of Marriage

Four Years of Marriage

Four years ago was the best day of my life because my husband and I got married.  We had a wonderful wedding, and there is nothing we would have wanted differently.

As most people know, he is in the military and has been gone a lot.  While his deployments aren’t long (about two months), they are frequent and so are his other trips.  I won’t say it’s been easy and there have been plenty of hard days. I will say we are still as happy as the day we met.

Today I knew today I wanted to post about our anniversary but had no idea what to post.  I finally settled on a “how we met post.”  Many long term readers know “how we met,” but many people don’t. I’m always interested to see how other people met their significant other, so I thought I would share.

So How Did We Meet?

My husband and I met during college cross country season in 2011.  It was a scrimmage race between our respected two universities.

Tim ended up winning the scrimmage race for men, and I won for females. After the scrimmage, we talked for a while and went on a run a few weeks later.   Cross country season went by, and we still chatted after the season.  During this time, I was coming back from my first serious running injury a tibial stress fracture.  Tim did multiple sports and was getting ready for ski season.  Since cross country was over, and he was no longer running competitively, running at a slower pace didn’t matter.  I was running easy after my injury, and he was running easy just to run.

YAY an old school college picture.

Eventually, after several runs, we hung out outside of running. When the semester ended, we both went to our hometowns for the winter break. Tim drove down to Virginia Beach and visited for New Years.

Later in the spring, we officially started “officially dating”.  I was blogging at the time, and I don’t think I even mentioned on the blog: OMG you guys, a new boy in my life”.

In May of 2012, we both graduated from college and decided to try a long distance relationship.  Our options at that point were long distance or break up.

Tim went to Air Force Undergraduate Pilot school in Texas, and I began working in Oswego, NY.  During that time, we both learned a lot about ourselves, interests and hobbies.  We went just over six months without seeing each other.  It was one of the hardest times of our relationship but worth it.  The first time we saw each other again was that Thanksgiving, and it was as if nothing had changed.

My first visit to Texas

After Thanksgiving, we saw each other again for Christmas, then in March and in May. It was a lot easier than the first few months.  After nearly a year of distance, we made the decision I would move to Texas. As much as I enjoyed my job in Oswego, I wanted to continue my relationship with Tim, and we had to eventually move (he did not have that choice).

In Texas, they have these for decoration…

Winning a growler at a half marathon in Texas

Then in late 2013, Tim graduated his pilot training, and we were told we would be moving to New Jersey. Neither of us knew anything about NJ (except people drive very quickly on the Turnpike).

I’ve now lived in NJ for five years, and I love it. We never thought we would stay here this long, but I don’t mind. I’ve made incredible friends, I enjoy my job and there is always something to do.  We are only a few miles from Philadelphia and a short (3-6 hour) drive from both of our parents, New York City and Baltimore.

On April 1, 2014, Tim proposed to me.  It was exactly what I wanted, low key and at our house.  We are low key, and I could not have asked for a better proposal.  As much as we both love running, proposing at a race or in front of hundreds of people is not either of our scenes.  Neither are big crowds or making a huge scene.

 

Engagement photo

Even though we lived in New Jersey, we decided to get married in my hometown area in Norfolk, Virginia.  We spent a year wedding planning and got married on April 12, 2015.  While planning a wedding further away was more difficult, it wasn’t as stressful because we both have such supportive and helpful parents. For each of the things. We couldn’t have dreamed for a better day.

After our wedding, we took a few days to relax and went straight on our honeymoon.  We decided to spend a few days in Key West and go on a cruise in the Carribean.  It was a great vacation, and it was perfect.

Then a few days after we got home, he was deployed for a while.  For the first six months of our marriage, he was gone for just over 4.  Afterward, he was home for a bit more, but for the past four years, he has been a lot.

Throughout the first few years of marriage, we have learned a lot about ourselves and each other.  Even though I grew up as a military child, being a spouse much different.  It’s not always easy, but the time we do have together makes it worth it.  I’m also thankful for my family and friends who help me get by.

We aren’t able to celebrate today, but that is okay. We might talk today; we might not.  It doesn’t mean I love my husband any less.  I could not ask for a better person in my life.

Although we met through running and it’s a part of both our lives we do a lot of other things together too.

Flying together

new york city private flying

 

 

grand canyon north rim

Visiting the Grand Canyon

hiking flagstaff mountain boulder

Here are some other posts about my husband and I (or just my husband): 
Wedding Post
Honeymoon
Flying Together
Tim’s Recap of the Mercedes Marathon

Questions for you: How did you meet your spouse?  When is your anniversary? 

 

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How to Run with your Significant Other

How to Run with your Significant Other

First, happy Valentines Day! Are you celebrating with a run with your spouse?

As most people know, my husband and I met through running. It’s a hobby we both share. You read the full story here. We both ran long before we knew each other. We aren’t always running together, and there are months we don’t run at all together, but there are also months we run many easy runs.

He is a faster runner, and there are very few periods that we run the same pace, but it is enjoyable to share that time with him. Running allows us to share uninterrupted time together. During the day, it’s hard to find these uninterrupted moments.

When we first met, we went for a runs together. We weren’t running as boyfriend and girlfriend, but just two people that liked to run. Several months later, I found him saying: “I’ll run with my girlfriend”, okay I guess we are dating now.

How to Run with your Significant Other

Many readers have asked: How do you run with your significant other? Or Could you share some tips to make running with my spouse more enjoyable?

Keep in mind, running with a spouse is not always sunshine and butterflies. One of you will always be the slower runner (that’s me!).

I can remember a significant moment in our running relationship. It was our first long run together. I’m a very chatty runner and if you’ve run with me (or even raced), you know I’m yapping all the way. My husband, however, is much quieter when he runs. This took us a few runs to figure out.

We started off doing a 15 mile run in San Antonio, Texas (near where we lived). All of a sudden he was running a few steps in front of me and silent. I began getting irrationally upset. Why were even running together? It was just silence. I continued to get more and more upset until finally I snapped and said:

“I’m tired of this dude running. Men just run in a single file straight line don’t talk much. Women don’t do that”.

(Yes, I called it dude running because it’s exactly how men run together. Silent, in a single line, and then they say it’s quality bonding time).

At the time, I didn’t know his life and running habits, and he didn’t fully know mine. Since then, we’ve had no more escalated running arguments, but my point is: it’s important to know any trainer partners habits.  He wasn’t angry, mad, or sad, that’s just how he ran.

So How do We Run Together?

The Short Answer:

We both put on running shoes and start running.

The Long Answer:

Easy Runs:

More often than not, we run easier mileage together. One of you will always be the slower runner and it’s important to set ground rules and meet in the middle. Like running in a group, it’s important to set ground rules with your running partner. I’ll speed up my pace 10-15 seconds per mile, and he slows down a bit. We agree to try and meet halfway.  That being said, my husband uses a watch even less than I do so we aren’t that numbers-oriented about paces.

Workouts:

My husband and I don’t do hard efforts together because our workout paces are not the same. He is a faster runner and also has different goals. (I like 5k-13.1 while he likes 5k-10k). He also likes trail running where I prefer long distance and the roads. We are usually on different training plans or training and racing for something else.

Occasionally he will do a tempo run with me, but that is the extent of workouts together.  Has he ever done a 400, mile, or hard track workout with me?  Absolutely not.  I know I go from nice to mean in 10 seconds, and so does he.

Racing:

We both like going to races. This year, my goal for racing a la Des Linden is “just show up.”   The fast, the slow, the good, and the bad, I want to be there.  Races for me, are always better workouts than workouts alone.

For us, going to races means we get to spend quality time together as well. We sign up for races together but the critical part here is we don’t race together.

We will warm up and cool down together, but when the clock goes off, we race to our own standards and feeling. The majority of the time, we do not stay together. We both still love each other and love running. Post run or race, we connect back and cool down.

Racing for you is important because if one person is faster, it will create problems to stay on the course together. Part of being with a fellow runner is that you can’t expect to stay together or feel the same every race. It can still be a run date if you aren’t racing together.

Does it stink to be dropped by your husband or a training partner during a race?

Of course, but that is the nature of the sport. We support each other, good or bad race.  We are still husband and wife when we cross the finish line.

This is important for any group running a race together. Someone will feel better, and someone will feel worse. Let them go and don’t be offended. You would want them to let you go too, and you’re still friends (or married at the finish line).

Don’t Be a Sore Winner or Loser.

There is no point to “racing” your spouse or significant other.  I remember one of my husband’s best races in 2017, the Double Bridges 15k. He ran a good amount with me and dropped me like I was standing still. I was so happy for him because he had no business lollygagging with me.  We both crossed the finish, and we were still married.

Running with a significant other can be a fun and pleasant experience. I know my husband and I are fortunate we get to share that.

Finally, don’t force or guilt them into running with you. Don’t take anything personally; sometimes your spouse doesn’t want to run.  You can spend time other ways. Some days I just want my me time and so does he.  That’s okay too!

Finally, have you subscribed to the LOLZletter? It’s a free newsletter that comes out each Monday. In the newsletter, I share running industry trends and things relevant to the sport. 

Questions for you:

Do you run with your significant other?

How are you spending Valentine’s Day? 

Three Years of Marriage

Three Years of Marriage

Today, April 12th, my husband and I celebrate 3 years of being married.  It’s funny how fast time flies.  Over the past few years, I’ve had a lot of new readers.  So while older readers might remember when we got married, others do not!  I thought it would be fun to share our story of how we met, lived in Texas, and now have spent the last four years in NJ.

Tim and I met at across-country scrimmage race between our colleges in 2011. Tim won the scrimmage race for men, and I won the scrimmage race for females.  During the fall of 2011, I was a senior year in college, and coming off my first running severe injury: a tibial stress fracture.

After the scrimmage, we talked and went on a run a few weeks later.  The season was pretty much over, and Tim was getting ready for his competitive ski season.  I was much slower and since he was just running “to stay in shape,” a slower pace didn’t matter to him.  Our first few runs were cold, easy, runs in the late fall.  When I say cold, I mean it was already below 20 degrees in Potsdam,  NY.

Eventually, after several runs, we hung out outside of running.  The fall semester went by and by the time we knew it, it was time to go back home! Over the semester break, Tim visited for New Years and ran two local VA Beach road races.

I blogged before Tim, and I dated, and even posted about the races.In the spring, we started “officially dating”.  I think I even mentioned on the blog: OMG you guys, a new boy in my life”  (just kidding).  I don’t even know how it came up through blogging…I don’t think Tim even knew or cared that I blogged and that was okay by me.

A college date of making bread.

In May of 2012, we graduated and decided to try doing a long distance relationship. 

Our options at that point were to try and do a distance relationship or stop dating.  Tim went to pilot training school in Texas, and I began working in Oswego, NY.

The first few months of being apart were difficult. We hadn’t been dating long, but we went from seeing each other to not talking more than a few times a week.  By November, we were able to see each other for the first time since June.  Living alone and working in Oswego, NY taught me a lot about myself and being independent.  I will never trade that time.

My first visit to Texas

After Thanksgiving, we saw each other again for Christmas, then again in March and in May. It was a lot easier than the first few months.  After nearly a year, we made the decision,  I would move to Texas, and we would live together. As much as I enjoyed my job at Oswego, I wanted to continue my relationship with Tim.  Since he was in the Air Force, he did not have the option to move up North.

Winning a growler at a half marathon in Texas

Living in Texas was tough and wasn’t as glamorous as I thought it would be.  It was the first time I lived with significant other, I was miles away from anyone I knew, and realistically 200 miles away from any big towns.  Tim was also busy with school, and I felt isolated.  When he graduated, we would be moving to New Jersey.  Neither of us knew anything about NJ (except people drive very quickly on the turnpike).

When we found out, we were moving to NJ

On April 1st, 2014 (Yes April Fools Day), he proposed.  It wasn’t on social media or some big ritzy event but it was perfect for us.  We got married about a year later on April 12th, 2015.

Engaged now…let’s go to a diner

Married Life:

Life over the last 3 years hasn’t always been easy.  Since Tim is in the military, he is gone…a lot.  He has been gone about half of our marriage, and I believe 6 deployments, but they all blend together.  That being said, we make the best of the time we do have together.

A few people have asked, when he is deployed he is 100% gone.  When he is back in NJ, he may or may not be around on local trips.  It is isn’t a balance of being gone versus being at home.  When he is home, he still goes to work and still flies.  For instance, right now he is home, but last week went on a week-long trip. 

First dance

Getting home from a deployment.  (The plane he flies is in the background)

Working at a local running store, makes my hours difficult sometimes too.  Even when he is home, there have been months that we have had no days off together.  I’ve asked off from work, only to have his plans change and now I have a free day off, but he isn’t working.  Usually, it’s hard to plan anything.

A few years ago, we used to spend our limited free at home, watching TV, or doing nothing.  Then we realized that just wasn’t us.  We decided to try other things, and that is eventually how we got into exploring NJ and going on fun hikes around the state.  We don’t hike fast, and aren’t “pro hikers,” but we do enjoy it and spending time together.

Ramapo State Forest hike

In December 2016, he found out he had to go to school in Montgomery, Alabama for 8 weeks.  I decided to go down with him, and it was such a fun and rewarding experience.  I met so many people down in Alabama, and Tim ran his first marathon in 70-80 degree heat where he broke 3:00.

After that, we moved back to NJ and have continued to live here.  We genuinely like NJ a lot and everything it has to offer from the wide variety of South Jersey, North Jersey, the shore, diners, and everything in between.

private flying around NJ/NY

While I don’t share a lot of personal and marriage details outside of running, I could not imagine spending this crazy adventure with anyone else.

Questions for you:
How did you and your significant other meet?
Have you moved around a lot?

Two Years of Marriage

Two years ago was the best day of my life because my husband and I got married.  Everything went perfectly, and there is nothing we would have wanted differently.

As most people know, he is in the military and has been gone for almost exactly one of those years.  While his deployments aren’t long (about 2 months), they are frequent and so are his other trips.  I won’t say it’s been easy and there have been plenty of hard days. I will say we are still as happy as the day we met.

Today I knew today I wanted to post about our anniversary but had no idea what to post.  I finally settled on a “how we met post”.  I’m always interested to see how other people met their significant other so I thought I would share.

So How Did We Meet?

My husband and I met during college cross country season in 2011.  We met at a scrimmage race between our respected two universities.

Tim ended up winning the scrimmage race for men, and I won for females. After the scrimmage, we talked for a while and went on a run a few weeks later.   Cross country season went by, and we still chatted after the season.  During this time, I was coming back from my first serious running injury a tibial stress fracture.  Tim did multiple sports and was getting ready for ski season.  Since cross country was over, and he was no longer running competitively, running at a slower pace didn’t matter.  I was running easy after my injury and he was running easy just to run.

YAY an old school college picture.

Eventually, after several runs, we hung out outside of running. When the semester ended, we both went to our hometowns for winter break. Tim drove down to Virginia Beach and visited for New Years.

Later in the spring, we officially started “officially dating”.  I was blogging at the time, and I don’t think I even mentioned on the blog: OMG you guys, new boy in my life”.  It’s been a theme of the past 6 years, we’ve been happy but he isn’t a large part of the blog.

In May of 2012, we both graduated college and decided to try doing a long distance relationship.  Our options at that point were to try and do a distance relationship or break up.

Tim went to Air Force pilot school in Texas, and I began working in Oswego, NY.  During that time, we both learned a lot about ourselves, interests and hobbies.  We went just over 6 months without seeing each other.  It was one of the hardest times of our relationship but worth it.  The first time we saw each other again was that Thanksgiving, and it was as if nothing had changed.

My first visit to Texas

After Thanksgiving, we saw each other again for Christmas, then in March and in May. It was a lot easier than the first few months.  After nearly a year of distance, we made the decision I would move to Texas. As much as I enjoyed my job in Oswego, I wanted to continue my relationship with Tim and we had to eventually move (he did not have that choice with me).

In Texas, they have these for decoration…

Winning a growler at a half marathon in Texas

Tim graduated his pilot training, and we were told we would be moving to New Jersey. Neither of us knew anything about NJ (except people drive very quickly on the Turnpike) in October 2014.

We’ve now lived in New Jersey 3.5 years and I truly say I love it.  I’ve made incredible friends, I enjoy my job and there is always something to do.  We are only a few miles from Philadelphia and short drive from both of our parents, New York City and Baltimore.

On April 1, 2014, Tim proposed to me.  It was exactly what I wanted, low key and at our house.  We are low key, and I could not have asked for a better proposal.  To be honest, as much as we love running, proposing at a race or in front of hundreds of people is not either of our scene.

 

Engagement photo

Even though we lived in New Jersey, we made the decision to get married in my hometown area in Norfolk, Virginia.  We spent a year wedding planning and got married on April 12, 2015.  While planning a wedding further away was more difficult, it wasn’t as stressful because we both have such supportive and helpful parents.  We couldn’t have dreamed for a better day.

After our wedding, we took a few days to relax and went straight on our honeymoon.  We decided to spend a few days in Key West and go on a cruise in the Carribean.  It was a great vacation, and it was perfect.

Then a few days after we got home, he was deployed for a while.  For the first 6 months of our marriage, he was gone for just over 4.  Afterward, he was home for a bit more, but in the past 2 years, he has been gone for over a year.

Throughout the first two years of marriage, we have learned a lot about ourselves and each other.  Even though I grew up as a military child, being a spouse much different.  It’s not always easy, but the time we do have together makes it worth it.  I’m also thankful for my family and friends who help me get by.

As most people know, he is away now.  We might talk today, we might not.  It doesn’t mean I love my husband any less.  I could not ask for a better person in my life.

Flying together

Hiking Bear Mountain and when we actually saw a bear

Here are some other posts about my husband and I (or just my husband): 
Wedding Post
Honeymoon
Flying Together
Tim’s Recap of the Mercedes Marathon

Love Yourself

Love Yourself

Valentines Day is a time to celebrate love. 

Whether it’s love for….

…a significant other

…your family and friends

…a pet

But most importantly: Love for yourself

Thinking out loud, as someone in their mid-twenties, I can tell you I didn’t always love myself.  In college, in suffered from anxiety and over committing to everything.  I compared myself to everyone and everything. I didn’t appreciate things about myself that looking back I wish I would have!  This doesn’t just include sports but life as well.   I never took the time to step back and reflect with what I loved about myself.

Valentines Day is a beautiful celebration of love.  You cannot possibly love others if you don't love yourself.  

Here are a few ways to embrace and love yourself:

Show gratitude for who you are now. As humans, we are always growing and learning more about ourselves.  We are striving to do better and to be better.  Take time to reflect on where you are now and how far you have come.  Never discount the small achievements.

Do something everyday that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming but do something each day that you know will make you happy.  Is that reading a few blogs?  Is that painting?  Is it running?  Make sure to make a little bit of time for just you each day.

Give yourself an honest chance. If you believe you will fail, you will.  Believe in yourself.  It’s that simple.  This is one of the biggest lessons I learned and am still learning.  To have success, you must believe you will.

Distance yourself from things that make you unhappy. One thing I’ve learned in the last few years is life is too short to do things that make you unhappy.  That could be things, people or activities but if you are constantly around things making you miserable, you cannot love and appreciate yourself.

Believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, who else will?  Confidence is key.

Valentines Day doesn’t have to be a Hallmark holiday or celebration of giving or receiving gifts.  It’s a celebration of love whether it is loving yourself, your family and friends or significant other.

We all have someone to love, and it starts with ourselves.

Question for you: How do you love yourself? 

 

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