Pulling the Marathon Plug

Well this was not the post I wanted to write this week.  It wasn’t the post I expected to write either…but here I sit with a suspected stress fracture in my metatarsal (on the other foot I had problems with).  Even if it’s not a stress fracture, I think both mentally and physically I’m not ready to run another marathon right now.  After my injury in July, it seemed I was forcing myself to train for a full.  While I was enjoying running, my heart wasn’t 100% into Wineglass.

Rewind a bit: 

It’s funny because since coming back from my arch issue I have been smart.  I haven’t pushed my limits or upped my mileage to quickly, if there was pain, I stopped. It wasn’t as if I went from no miles to 70 miles per week.  I haven’t had any pain that I would relate to muscle or even bone pain.  I thought it had been going really well!  So why on Earth did I wake up on Friday morning with a bruised and swollen left foot?   I have been running pain free for the last two weeks.  100% pain free with nothing I was concerned about.  My last run on Thursday was an easy run.  I felt no pain, breaks or soreness.  (When I had my only other stress fracture in my tibia, I felt “the break”).  

I just woke up Friday morning in more pain than I have been in for a while.  The pain in my foot hurt so badly it woke me up.  I would do a “hop test” but LOL, I can’t even walk without pain…believe me this is as shocking to me as it is to you.

While I haven’t “officially” been diagnosed (mostly due to my work schedule this weekend), it doesn’t really take a genius to see I can’t walk.  Their advice will be: “Well you should probably stay off your feet and not exercise, here is your boot”.

Honestly, that’s fine.  A boot will bring attention to the fact I’m injured and not to karate kick me in the foot or accidentally step on my toes.

How am I dealing emotionally?

As an extremely emotional person, I will probably cry when they officially diagnose me at the doctor but I haven’t cried yet.  Something about the confirmation will probably cause me to cry.  I went from not being injured for two years to back to back injuries.  When it rains, it pours I guess.

That being said I’m mentally at peace with a serious injury.  I’m not in college fighting for a last season or race.  After being injured the first time my heart really wasn’t into my fall marathon anymore.  I felt like I was doing to just “do it”.  There is a marathon every weekend if I wanted to find another one…but I don’t right now.  I don’t have an interest to train intensely (via cross training) through a stress fracture.

It’s almost (key word:almost) like a mental relief because I’m not forcing myself to run a race I don’t feel comfortable doing.

What if it’s not a stress fracture and my foot is extremely bruised? 

My foot hurts, I can’t put weight on it and it’s bruised and swollen. I’m not being negative; I’m just stating the facts. I’m not sure what other injuries could be a possibility but I guess the doctor will tell me.  

Reasons that it might not be a stress fracture are: the amount of bruising (it’s basically my entire foot…sorry to people who got visual photo text), the fact I woke up in the morning with this pain (not during a run) and there isn’t one point on my foot that I can pinpoint the pain radiating from.  So it’s a possibility it is a major bruise but that is why doctors exist…to go to them.

Finally as always…where does this take me training wise?

Honestly right now I’m taking both physical and mental time away from running and even the “training mindset”.  I had a series of crappy races since my half marathon PR (April Fools in Atlantic City).  As the races got worse, my confidence in running dwindled.

I don’t have a need to cross train to maintain a huge amount of fitness.   I don’t have any immediate races to train for and I won’t until I know a problem and want to run.  Will I cross train?  Yes, of course but I will do so when I’m healthy.  I’m not going to spend hours on the elliptical to maintain a base for running.  There isn’t really a point…I would rather heal faster then cross train and take twice as long to heal.

Yes this injury sucks.  It sucks a lot.  I’m pretty crushed but for all the good months of training, you must have some bad ones (and I had nearly 24 good months of training).  It will suck more when (if) they say “you have a stress fracture”…but it will heal.  Bones heal and grow back stronger.  Mentally I’m exhausted and frustrated but whining isn’t going to help.  I will still be around the blogging world of course but I couldn’t tell you what sort of LOLZ will be brought up in the next two months.