In college I didn’t ask for a lot of help. I thought I could do everything myself and not have any issues. I would rather go along my way doing something completely wrong then ask for someone for help. Part of my social anxiety was the thought of people judging me and if I asked for help then I would be clueless. This gave me a fair share of problems in college and made situations far more complicated than they ever needed to be. That quiet and do it myself mentality followed me throughout college and throughout some of my time in Oswego. It wasn’t that I was a “know it all” or a legend in my own mind…it was more that I was so fearful to ask for help and that I wanted to keep to myself.
Well that doesn’t work at all.
It wasn’t until this summer that I truly learned you need to ask for help. I started asking questions (possibly too many) to my bosses and coworkers. I didn’t really care if I looked like the idiot anymore at least I wouldn’t have to second guess myself. Despite not knowing what anyone thought of me (other then I ask far too many questions) I certainly increased my productivity since I wasn’t making mistakes. So no longer was I afraid to ask for help at work but it also translated into real life situations too. I started to branch out asking friends, family for help and advice about my move. Even if it was advice and help I didn’t want to hear I wanted to hear all realms and all possibilities. The more prepared I was the less nervous I would be.
This summer I learned this:
You can’t do everything by yourself and the longer you wait the longer is stresses you out. Think of your problem as a tiny snowball on top of a giant hill. Once you decide you aren’t going to ask for help the snowball begins to roll down the mountain. It continues to grow until you are so far lost that you you’ll have to ask for help eventually. The help that you needed at the very beginning of the process. That is something it took me several times of it actually happening to realize I needed.
Letting so many problems fester until I truly needed help.
Now that I have a small flashback story, I’ll tell you how it relates to me now. First, I don’t have very many friends down in Texas right now. I just moved and while the community is very helpful you don’t go from strangers to great friends in a week. (most of the time). I have been exercising all my options as far as job searching goes. I’ve began reaching out to people on twitter with questions with everything from job searching to how to prepare fish.
In this time of job searching and soul searching, I’m taking time to better myself and realize that asking for help is okay. It’s a part of life and no one can fault you for that.
Question for you: Is it hard for you to ask for help?