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Moving Out of Depression

As  you guys know (I’ve been promoting all month), I’m helping to organize a Suicide and Depression Walk on the campus I’m interning.  I’m even having a giveaway about it. (I’m 123 dollars from reaching my goal!!)  Anyways-for the week leading up to this walk I wanted to know highlight blog entries regarding both topics. 

Late notice but if you are interested in writing (or have written) a blog about how you overcame depression or had a friend/family member lost to suicide you are more then welcome too.

My first blog entry is to highlight every person has experiences sadness or slight depression tendencies in their life.  You are not alone.  I was depressed (so much so that I talked a counselor a lot and also nearly dropped out of college) sophomore year.

Rewind.

Spring of Freshman year I started to have some medical problems.  I essentially had to change my entire lifestyle because of it. (I’m not going into details but it wasn’t an eating disorder or anything life threatening…just life changing…and no I wasn’t pregnant either)  I couldn’t go to college parties and drink, I couldn’t go to the dining hall without getting sick, even swimming made me sick (this was before I ran).

Long story short, over the summer I became very close with my parents.  They helped me through everything.  When it was time to go back to college in the fall, I couldn’t.  I went back for sophomore year in tears kicking and screaming the entire way.

I was going  to go back to college.  700 miles away. 

I told myself I would enjoy it, my (ex)boyfriend was there and I’d get to see him.  My friends, my swim team and friends were all there.  My new life was there.   I was even rooming with a teammate of mine.

But when my parents dropped me off and helped me move in…nothing changed and when I say I spent the first two weeks crying in my room…I did.  I am not exaggerating and probably left my room to eat (sometimes…other times I’d just cook in there), go to the gym and talk to a counselor.  My RA at the time took great notice to this and she really helped me.

Freshman year I was the life of campus, always happy, loud and obnoxious.  Sophomore year I had become drastically quiet and sticking to myself all the time.

She got me an appointment with health services saying that I needed a single room and to move in to another suite.  A suite with girls I had never met before (with social anxiety I was even more of a mess) but I took the plunge and I don’ EVER look back.  If I hadn’t changed suites and met these girls, I would not have finished my second year…or third…or fourth year of school, at least in NY. 

Jackie and I. She was such a gorgeous bride

They showed me so many different ways to have fun at school and took my mind of all my other problems and eventually It was something I could easily maintain (and still do).  I can honestly say, moving into that suite and into my own space to clear my mind was one of the best decisions I made and I remain close with those girls.  (I went to Jackie’s wedding this summer).

If you are interested in writing a topic dealing with suicide and depression, please email me at lolzthatswim@gmail.com

Question for you:  Tell me about something you don’t regret.    

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13 thoughts on “Moving Out of Depression”

  1. Thanks for sharing this, I think a lot of people including myself can relate to it. My depression in my past went hand in hand with my ED and it took dealing with my depression to pull myself out of my ed. Social anxiety was a huge part of mine as well. Glad to see you are more vibrant than ever now

  2. I don’t know if I have the guts to share what I have dealt with. But thank you for sharing about yourself. I wish you the best of success with your campaign!

  3. Tricky…I regret most things! Perhaps running my first marathon even though it was a stupid risk and I hadn’t trained for it (I did one 14 mile run, which I was used to, randomly did 22 miles, and then ran the race a month later). Most other things I can find fault with though.

    I really relate to becoming withdrawn, attached to parents and being very reclusive/solitary. My process was more gradual as a reaction to bullying and not being able to deal with changing child-to-adult body problems but the change was quite similar…though I have alawys been shy and socially anxious. I think it was a huge leap that you took and I’m so happy for you that it paid off – just goes to show that depression can happen to anyone, no matter how bright or seemingly outgoing.

    xxx

  4. I am pretty proud of you for posting this! I feel that there are some ways in which I can relate to this as I moved far from home and was completely alone for a while. It took me a while to find people that I fit in with and it was a hard transition, but obviously your transition made you stronger in the end! So glad you met some girls that helped along the way 🙂

  5. It’s really awesome that you posted this. I’ve had experience with depression before and it feels so lonely, yet so many people experience it. The thing that really got me out of my depression was giving up competitive running, and I don’t regret it at all. I miss it, but I needed to get rid of the pressure and try new things. It was more important for me to get back to happiness than continue running, but I hope to get back into it eventually.

  6. I’m glad you’re doing better now and that you met those girls and they helped you overcome the depression. It’s really brave of you to blog about this too, alot of people have been through things like this, but it takes a lot of courage to open up to anyone about it, let alone complete strangers or the blog world.

  7. i can totally relate. even the most positive, happy, upbeat people can be depressed on the inside. i’m proof. thanks for sharing your story – you are incredibly brave!

  8. I rarely regret anything, because I do believe everything happens for a reason although you might not see what the reason is at the time. I would say my biggest non-regret is having the courage to break up with my boyfriend of 5+ years. He was my best friend and I loved him, but we weren’t in love anymore. It was the scariest thing I had ever done, but my happiness increased exponentially 🙂

  9. I really appreciate you sharing this Hollie, a topic that is close to my heart and have opened up with about too. You never really know what is going on with someone from the outside looking in.. and that silent suffering can make it even worse! So glad you are better now, I am working on it myself

  10. Thanks so much for sharing this! A few people who are very close to me are currently depressed (some more severe than others), and it’s devastating to see them suffer. Anyway, I’m glad to see you are in a much better place now. It gives hope to everyone!

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