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How to Run with your Significant Other

How to Run with your Significant Other

First, happy Valentines Day! Are you celebrating with a run with your spouse?

As most people know, my husband and I met through running. It’s a hobby we both share. You read the full story here. We both ran long before we knew each other. We aren’t always running together, and there are months we don’t run at all together, but there are also months we run many easy runs.

He is a faster runner, and there are very few periods that we run the same pace, but it is enjoyable to share that time with him. Running allows us to share uninterrupted time together. During the day, it’s hard to find these uninterrupted moments.

When we first met, we went for a runs together. We weren’t running as boyfriend and girlfriend, but just two people that liked to run. Several months later, I found him saying: “I’ll run with my girlfriend”, okay I guess we are dating now.

How to Run with your Significant Other

Many readers have asked: How do you run with your significant other? Or Could you share some tips to make running with my spouse more enjoyable?

Keep in mind, running with a spouse is not always sunshine and butterflies. One of you will always be the slower runner (that’s me!).

I can remember a significant moment in our running relationship. It was our first long run together. I’m a very chatty runner and if you’ve run with me (or even raced), you know I’m yapping all the way. My husband, however, is much quieter when he runs. This took us a few runs to figure out.

We started off doing a 15 mile run in San Antonio, Texas (near where we lived). All of a sudden he was running a few steps in front of me and silent. I began getting irrationally upset. Why were even running together? It was just silence. I continued to get more and more upset until finally I snapped and said:

“I’m tired of this dude running. Men just run in a single file straight line don’t talk much. Women don’t do that”.

(Yes, I called it dude running because it’s exactly how men run together. Silent, in a single line, and then they say it’s quality bonding time).

At the time, I didn’t know his life and running habits, and he didn’t fully know mine. Since then, we’ve had no more escalated running arguments, but my point is: it’s important to know any trainer partners habits.  He wasn’t angry, mad, or sad, that’s just how he ran.

So How do We Run Together?

The Short Answer:

We both put on running shoes and start running.

The Long Answer:

Easy Runs:

More often than not, we run easier mileage together. One of you will always be the slower runner and it’s important to set ground rules and meet in the middle. Like running in a group, it’s important to set ground rules with your running partner. I’ll speed up my pace 10-15 seconds per mile, and he slows down a bit. We agree to try and meet halfway.  That being said, my husband uses a watch even less than I do so we aren’t that numbers-oriented about paces.

Workouts:

My husband and I don’t do hard efforts together because our workout paces are not the same. He is a faster runner and also has different goals. (I like 5k-13.1 while he likes 5k-10k). He also likes trail running where I prefer long distance and the roads. We are usually on different training plans or training and racing for something else.

Occasionally he will do a tempo run with me, but that is the extent of workouts together.  Has he ever done a 400, mile, or hard track workout with me?  Absolutely not.  I know I go from nice to mean in 10 seconds, and so does he.

Racing:

We both like going to races. This year, my goal for racing a la Des Linden is “just show up.”   The fast, the slow, the good, and the bad, I want to be there.  Races for me, are always better workouts than workouts alone.

For us, going to races means we get to spend quality time together as well. We sign up for races together but the critical part here is we don’t race together.

We will warm up and cool down together, but when the clock goes off, we race to our own standards and feeling. The majority of the time, we do not stay together. We both still love each other and love running. Post run or race, we connect back and cool down.

Racing for you is important because if one person is faster, it will create problems to stay on the course together. Part of being with a fellow runner is that you can’t expect to stay together or feel the same every race. It can still be a run date if you aren’t racing together.

Does it stink to be dropped by your husband or a training partner during a race?

Of course, but that is the nature of the sport. We support each other, good or bad race.  We are still husband and wife when we cross the finish line.

This is important for any group running a race together. Someone will feel better, and someone will feel worse. Let them go and don’t be offended. You would want them to let you go too, and you’re still friends (or married at the finish line).

Don’t Be a Sore Winner or Loser.

There is no point to “racing” your spouse or significant other.  I remember one of my husband’s best races in 2017, the Double Bridges 15k. He ran a good amount with me and dropped me like I was standing still. I was so happy for him because he had no business lollygagging with me.  We both crossed the finish, and we were still married.

Running with a significant other can be a fun and pleasant experience. I know my husband and I are fortunate we get to share that.

Finally, don’t force or guilt them into running with you. Don’t take anything personally; sometimes your spouse doesn’t want to run.  You can spend time other ways. Some days I just want my me time and so does he.  That’s okay too!

Finally, have you subscribed to the LOLZletter? It’s a free newsletter that comes out each Monday. In the newsletter, I share running industry trends and things relevant to the sport. 

Questions for you:

Do you run with your significant other?

How are you spending Valentine’s Day? 

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Training: Grinding and 5ks

Training: Grinding and 5ks

My training last week went as needed. I got in a speed workout, moderate long run, and heck even a race.  For the most part, my runs felt decent, but I have a long way to go, fitness wise.

Monday: Easy 60 minutes
Tuesday: Easy 60 minutes
Wednesday: 6X800 with 800 jog in between
Thursday: Rest
Friday: Easy 60 minutes
Saturday: Cupids Chase 5k (20:32)
Sunday: Long Run (14 miles averaging 7:59)

 Thoughts:

My easy runs were just that, easy. There was nothing of note.

Workout Wednesday: 6X800 averaging 6:30 with easy 800 jog in between

This workout went by slow. So slow.

At the first rep, I told myself I couldn’t do it. At the second, I said omg 1/3 of the way. By three, I was like ok halfway…both four and five seemed just to blur away and then six I was like hurry the F up, you’re almost done.  It’s not as fast as I was this time last year, I know I can get there.

Cupids Chase 5k: 20:32

Even though the course was long, it still stinks to see a time over 20 minutes when I’ve recently run 5k workouts by myself under 20. The day itself was cold and windy.

During the first mile, I ran with a local friend, and we split about a 6:20. There was a huge ice patch across the course, and I ran all the way around through cold, wet, grass. It definitely cost me a few seconds. I hit the turnaround at 9:45 and thought, wow this will be pretty good. I didn’t feel bad, or like I was dying. Then I ran the second mile in 6:30. The final mile went back over the ice patch, which I seemed to take the longest route possible to go around it. Instead of just heading back to the start, we turned left and did a short out and back which made the course about .1 long. We did the same thing last year, but the halfway cones were about 1.5 not 1.55. As I crossed the finish line, the shoot was deflating because of wind. Am I ecstatic about a 20:32? Not really but it is what it is. I had a great time seeing friends who I haven’t in a while.

14 Mile Long Run: 7:59 pace

I wanted a quality run without speed, or a tempo mixed in.  Adding more speed right now would be a recipe for an injury, but I also didn’t want to run easy for 14 miles.  During training, 8-minute miles never feel easy to me. I always feel as though I’m working hard.  Not sprinting, and I can hold a conversation but it doesn’t feel easy or like a recovery run. The run went by fast and I had an enjoyable time.

Thoughts:

I’m looking forward to building fitness and getting back out there. I have about a month until anything big (Shamrock) half marathon. I know it’s next to impossible to get back to a Pr by then, but I’ll consistently grind and see where it takes me.

Posts of the Week:

Collagen Waffle Recipe

Steps to Increase Mileage and Stay Healthy

Coros Apex Watch Review

Hiking Marin Headlands

Questions for you:

Would you prefer a long race course or short?

I would prefer long.

What was your best workout last week?

Training: Quality Training Fueled by Sugar

Training: Quality Training Fueled by Sugar

Last week’s training went better than expected.  Not only that, but life went well too as my husband came home from his deployment.  I feel like I’ve said that several times but it’s exciting and got me out of a weird funk I was in the last few weeks.

Anyway, as many of my personal friends know Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays.  I like celebrating love, and I’ve enjoyed it since I was a little kid.Single, dating, married, I’ve enjoyed each year.

This year, I didn’t treat my body “the best,” and had a lot of sugary sweets on Valentine’s day and the days after.  I didn’t go crazy, but I did feel it in the days lingering.  This year my husband and I just stayed at home, enjoyed a home cooked meal, cupcakes, and Netflix.  It was perfect!  I didn’t regret my sugar and food choices last week, but my body definitely didn’t feel amazing all of the time which in turn, affected running.

Monday: Easy 60 minutes
Tuesday: Easy 60 minutes
Wednesday: 12x400s averaging 86 seconds
Thursday: Rest
Friday: Easy 60 minutes
Saturday: Frostbite 5 miler (30:25)
Sunday: Long Run 14 miles

12x400s average 86 (400-meter recovery) On roads

My fastest 400 workout in a while.  The weather was perfect, and I was recovering from my sugar coma.  It was definitely one of my better workouts in the last year, if not the best.  The pace felt natural, and I never felt out of my means.  A consequence of the workout is I’ve had Lourde stuck in my head for the last week, but there are worse things.

Frostbite 5 miler: 30:25 (6:05 pace)

I hadn’t run a 5-mile race in a few years and had forgotten “how to race.” Going into the race, my goal was to be under 31 minutes.  Even being under 31 was a huge step for me, but I knew I had the fitness to do so.  The suburbs of Philadelphia are hilly, and this course was not an exception.  I ran exactly 18:35 for the 5k and then 30:25 for the 5 miles which averaged to 6:05.  If I had run a 10k, I would have PRed which is awesome to think about.

 

It feels good to feel like my old “running self.”  While at the end of the day, it’s just running I’m happy to be doing well right now.

Posts of the week:

60 Days with Collagen

Cupids Chase 5k (18:38)

Questions for you:

Have you run an 8k or 5 miler?  What is your strategy?

Do you like Valentines Day?

Love Yourself

Love Yourself

Valentines Day is a time to celebrate love. 

Whether it’s love for….

…a significant other

…your family and friends

…a pet

But most importantly: Love for yourself

Thinking out loud, as someone in their mid-twenties, I can tell you I didn’t always love myself.  In college, in suffered from anxiety and over committing to everything.  I compared myself to everyone and everything. I didn’t appreciate things about myself that looking back I wish I would have!  This doesn’t just include sports but life as well.   I never took the time to step back and reflect with what I loved about myself.

Valentines Day is a beautiful celebration of love.  You cannot possibly love others if you don't love yourself.  

Here are a few ways to embrace and love yourself:

Show gratitude for who you are now. As humans, we are always growing and learning more about ourselves.  We are striving to do better and to be better.  Take time to reflect on where you are now and how far you have come.  Never discount the small achievements.

Do something everyday that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming but do something each day that you know will make you happy.  Is that reading a few blogs?  Is that painting?  Is it running?  Make sure to make a little bit of time for just you each day.

Give yourself an honest chance. If you believe you will fail, you will.  Believe in yourself.  It’s that simple.  This is one of the biggest lessons I learned and am still learning.  To have success, you must believe you will.

Distance yourself from things that make you unhappy. One thing I’ve learned in the last few years is life is too short to do things that make you unhappy.  That could be things, people or activities but if you are constantly around things making you miserable, you cannot love and appreciate yourself.

Believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, who else will?  Confidence is key.

Valentines Day doesn’t have to be a Hallmark holiday or celebration of giving or receiving gifts.  It’s a celebration of love whether it is loving yourself, your family and friends or significant other.

We all have someone to love, and it starts with ourselves.

Question for you: How do you love yourself? 

 

Why I love Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day is one of the biggest Hallmark Holidays of the year.  I don’t know the stats, but my guess is most of the employees in the card, flower, fancy restaurant and chocolate industry are overbooked and overwhelmed.

I know in the running industry that’s how I feel during marathon and track season

To be honest, Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite Holidays.  Not because I expect a plethora of things, or want to participate in the “let’s show off our love via social media contest”. 

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Valentines Day is a time to celebrate love. 

Whether it’s love for….

…a significant other

…your family and friends

…a pet

and most importantly:

Love for yourself

As a 20 something-year-old, I can tell you I didn’t always love myself.  In college,  I put a lot more pressure on myself. I wanted to the be absolute best I could be and wouldn’t give myself credit for achieving the small things.  I didn’t appreciate things about myself that looking back I wish I would have!  Not just in sports but in life as well.

Valentines Day is a beautiful celebration of love.  It starts with love and appreciation for yourself.  

Here are a few ways to embrace and love yourself:

  1. Show gratitude for who you are now. As humans, we are always growing and learning more about ourselves.  We are striving to do better and to be better.  Take time to reflect on where you are now and how far you have come.  Never discount the small achievements.
  2. Do something daily that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming but do something each day that you know will make you happy.  Is that reading a few blogs?  Is that painting your fails?  Is it running?  Make sure to make a little bit of time for just you each day.
  3. Give yourself a fair chance. If you believe you will fail, you will.  Believe in yourself.  It’s that simple.
  4. Distance yourself from things that make you unhappy. That could be things, people or activities but if you are constantly around things that are making you miserable, you cannot love and appreciate yourself.
  5. Believe in yourself. If there is one thing you can do to love yourself, it’s believe in yourself.  If you don’t believe in yourself, who else will?  Confidence is key.

Valentines Day doesn’t have to be a celebration of giving or receiving gifts.  It’s a celebration of love whether it is loving yourself, your family and friends or significant other.

We all have someone to love, and it starts with ourselves.

Question for you: How do you love yourself? 

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