Personal

Welcome Home.

I’ve been waiting to write this post the last two months. It seems like just yesterday I watched him take off and fly into the dismal skies. It would be a lie if I didn’t sob the entire drive home. After that drive, I can honestly say the last two months went by very quickly. I won’t complain about how fast they went. As most of people know Tim was deployed in August. Out of the six months we have now been engaged, he will have been gone three and a half. That is the nature of his job and how it happens.  While T doesn’t long deployments, he has many deployments.  Between multiple flights and many 10 day trips in between he is gone a lot.  Each welcome home is special though and I could not be more proud of him.  He will probably be gone again before we get married next April.

Right before he left
Right before he left

In my opinion, I think I did pretty well while he was gone. I filled my time work, with life and whatever else. I kept busy and continued life.  I knew he was going to be gone for two months. I had fully wrapped my mind around that. I also know that with the military anything can change in a moments notice. Two months ago the US wasn’t putting planes overseas at the frequency we are right now.

So two weeks ago when T said his deployment might need to be extended, I wasn’t surprised. If you recall, two weeks ago I was also cleared to run a mile and “see how it goes”. It didn’t go well. So I was hammered with more recovery and Tim’s deployment being extended (for an unknown amount of time). It was a rough week for me but I made the best of the situation. Unknowing to me a small light shined through a bunch of storm clouds. Being miserable and complaining wasn’t going to do anything for anyone. It wasn’t like I could change anyone’s mind by feeling sorry for myself.  So I continued to live my life and look towards the future.

Flight School graduation (the plane he flies is in the background)
Flight School graduation (the plane he flies is in the background)

I continued to rest and recover. I continued to live my life. After I accepted what life threw at me, I threw a pity party for one and moved forward.  In situations like these, you have to accept certain things.  You have to accept being miserable for yourself isn’t going to put you in a better mindset.  Things that will always brighten your day: Hanging out with friends, going on diner dates and looking for the positives in life.

Flight School Graduation
Flight School Graduation

I have spent the last two weeks wondering what will happen next. Will my foot feel better tomorrow? Will T tell me he is coming home tomorrow? Will the Realtor get back to me? Will this happen, how about that? 

Finally on Monday,  T was able to tell me news I desperately wanted to hear. He was flying home. He was coming back.  A few changes between Monday and Thursday but he is indeed coming back today. This immediately sent me into clean mode panic. My house had to be instaclean! My LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ fraternity must be cleaned up a little bit. (I’m not a slob but I’m not a neat freak.  I don’t spend my waking hours cleaning all the time…I’ve got a blog to write…and life to live).  So with that I spent a couple of days cleaning and getting ready for his return.  I am kidding, of course I’m very excited for his return!

While T was away, I only broke two things, my foot and my remote control.   Currently half of my blog talks about my foot but I dropped my remote in an Epsom salt bath (typical things that happen to me).

Tim and I’s relationship has been tested, pushed and pulled but honestly we are strong. I know without a doubt we are good together. We make each other whether we are together or apart. These last two months have sealed that. I cannot wait to get married next April.

Thank you to all of my friends, readers and support system.  As cliche as it sounds I truly do feel lucky for all of the love and support I have.

So welcome back Tim and thank you for doing everything you do. For me and for this country.

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military

Halfway Done

I’m currently halfway done with a lot of things in my life.

I’m already more then halfway done recovering from my stress fracture.  Judging by the location of my stress fracture as well as the thickness of the crack, my doctor created a timeline of my healing process.  So far so good and he has been able to accurately predict how it would heal.  I’m about three and a half weeks of no running and everything continues to go streamline I might be able to run my first mile soon. Mentally the time has flown by.  This injury has been different from any other injury that I’ve had.  I didn’t stress that I was injured.  I actually never once cried.  The time keeps ticking away very quickly.  I credit that to staying busy and not worrying about it.  I also credit it to not whining too much and seeking positive aspects of my life.  I didn’t create an injury hashtag and I limited how much I complained about being injured.  I was truly happy for my friends PRing in their 5ks, 10k, marathons and whatever else.  In turn, I feel it’s made the time go quicker because I’m not dwelling on the fact I’m injured.

More importantly, I’m one month into T’s deployment (with one month to go). I’m mentally in a hell of a lot better spot than I would have thought.

If you were to ask me in August, Hollie how do you think you’ll feel when your finance is deployed and you have a stress fracture?

I would have probably responded with, that’s not really a situation I want to deal with. It’s probably not a situation I could even comprehend at the time. I would be an emotional wreck.

Here I am dealing with that exact situation.  Within the matter of two weeks I rode an emotional roller coaster of T leaving and then finding out I had a stress fracture. I’m injured and dealing with  fiance being deployed but I’m making the best of the situation.  I’m not allowing myself to be in a negative spot.  I’m looking for the positive and good situations versus the negative and not so good.  Honestly, some days are better than others but I’m not an emotional wreck. I’m nowhere near that mindset and haven’t found myself there very much at all.  While I can’t say this is my favorite stretch of my life, I can’t sit and pretend I’m letting myself be miserable.  It’s always been in my nature to make the best of situations.  While I may vent or ramble about something, I’m always striving to make the best of the situation.

I’ve found keeping busy and keeping out of an empty house is one of the biggest factors for me to stay happy. I’m working, I’m seeing friends and I’m not allowing myself be consumed by the internet.  I truly believe those that sit around and feel sorry for themselves aren’t going to be as happy.

Could I sit on the internet for hours on end, keep to myself and “get through it”? Sure but that’s not really a life I want to live, running or not.

It’s made me realize that I have a ton of other interests that have nothing to do with running (something I think everyone needs). In case you wondered, I wish I could say I’ve used this extra time to plan our wedding…but that would be a false statement.  I’ve really found other things that interested me.  I have no regrets on anything and have truly taken time to enjoy life.

I’ve fostered friendships in the last month. I’ve learned my friends near and far always have my back. They’ve kept me sane. They’ve kept me from having any meltdowns, from feeling sorry for myself and from becoming more of a mess than usual.  They’ve allowed me to just talk and to bounce ideas off of.

That being said, I’m very much halfway through my recovery and halfway through Tim’s deployment. I’m still looking forward to when I’m 100% the way through both.  Throughout both situations, I try and keep the concept of things could always be worse.  There will always be people that have it “worse than I do” and that I should take time to realize that.  That being said I have a countdown to Tim getting back as well as a countdown to my first mile that I’ll be able to run.  This is just one short chapter of my life.  A chapter building a foundation for the next greater chapter of life.

I always look at this photo and realize that life is full of great moments whether you are looking or not.

engagement photo 3

Question for you:  How do you stay positive in rough times?