It’s Not You…It’s Me…

Something I’ve struggled with lately is having the time to hang out with friends.  I don’t feel as though I have the time right now to hang out with everyone I want too right now.  With work and wedding planning, I have struggled to keep afloat with my own mental sanity.  On my days off, I want to relax and catch up with wedding stuff.  Right now, I need to relax but also get more wedding stuff done.  I’m not stressed about it, I’m just in the process of trying to adjust to my current situation (thinking about it makes me realize that).

How sad right?

I felt the effects of exhaustion last week.  I woke up last Wednesday at 4am.  I had a serious migraine and was sick from 4 until going to work at 10.  I felt under the weather and exhausted.  I was extremely lucky that my boss allowed me to leave early and just sleep.  I slept from roughly 5pm-6am the next day.  When I woke up the next day, I realized I was still exhausted.  It took me the entire wedding weekend to actually catch up.

I guess this is adulthood. I don’t have children so kudos to all of you who balance training, working, etc.  Right now it isn’t that I want to ignore anyone or not hang out but I don’t have the time.  I’m currently trying to balance work, the final few wedding weeks and maintaining my relationship to the man I’m going to marry.  I miss the days that I was able to drive to North or Central Jersey and meet friends.

It’s honestly been a very hard realization and adjustment to make.  It’s hard for me to say no to someone wanting to go on a diner date, hang out, or grab food but right now I know it’s the best move for me.

I know this is one of the biggest moments of my life.  I’m sure it gets old because I’ve been talking about my wedding for a year but I don’t want to be stressed.  In order for that to happen I need to stay calm and make sure I put myself first sometimes and keep my own sanity.  I can’t show up to work or life both physically and mentally exhausted. 

This is an all to common situation for me.  I often find myself taking too much on my life plate.  I keep piling things on until nothing else fits.  Finally something gives and I am forced to take a step back.  It’s happened with work and previous jobs, with overbooking myself and with school and classes.

I’ve always been open and honest with my readers and I find that to be important.  Right now I’ve felt overwhelmed by everything.  I cannot wait to get married and I’m truly excited for it but the planning has been a lot more than I anticipated.

I’ll still be around in the blogging world but I do have a lot going on. As much as I want to meet with friends and readers to hang out, I know I have so much going on right now.  I truly appreciate everyone’s love and support.  No one likes to feel overwhelmed but I know it will all be worth it in the end.

engagement photo 3

Questions for you:

Do you often pile too much on your life plate?

Do you consider yourself stressed easily? 

24 thoughts on “It’s Not You…It’s Me…”

  1. I don’t think I get stressed easily but when I do it’s overwhelming and natural not to have the energy or desire to be overly social either. The wedding is going to be an amazing day so while the final details are stressful remember it’s only you and Tim that really matter. Xoxo!

  2. I can completely relate on this! A friend asked me to have dinner this week and the idea of it stressed me out so much that I just had to say no. I do get stressed out easily and one thing I’ve focused a lot on over the past year or so is figuring out what I need to do to limit stress in my life. I find that when I’m stressed out in general, it affects my relationships with people, food, exercise, etc in very negative ways. Not all stress can be avoided, but I can certainly do a better job of stacking my plate with the right combination of things rather than EVERYTHING.

  3. I get stressed very easily, and I haven’t really been making time for friends like I should. Going from not studying in high school to taking 17 credits plus a zero credit 3 hour weekly lab plus studying all the time is taking a toll on me. Plus I met with the xc/track coach last week and she hasn’t given up on me! Now I have the added (good) pressure to get back into racing shape for xc/indoor/outdoor. But at the end of the day I just think how lucky I am and that I’m choosing to do these things.

  4. I have issues with stress as well, so I can definitely relate to that overwhelmed and exhausted feeling… Sometimes I don’t even realize that I’m stressed until I reach a breaking point and need to throw myself a small pity party to feel better. It sucks to have to say no to certain things in life that are more enjoyable, but it’s better than completely overwhelming yourself and breaking down. Hold in there, Hollie! Not too much longer now 🙂

  5. I don’t get stressed as easily as I used to but I think that comes with time and experience…with stress. You’re doing exactly the right thing, though–prioritizing you life and getting rest. Smart girl!

  6. Although I’m not getting married right now obviously, I get it completely. It’s a big part of why I had to give up the running store for awhile. You have so much going on right now, I don’t blame you for feeling overwhelmed. Balancing everything is hard, and I definitely am feeling like I’m lacking on the friend time lately too. As soon as life calms down, I’m going to make it a priority as I’m sure you will too.

  7. I think you’re handling it so well!! You gotta put you and tim first right now. So do whatever you need to do to make YOU feel good! This is a huuuuge event in your life and it’s understandably a stressful (but exciting) time. Your friends will totally understand!

  8. Hang in there, Hollie! I’m obviously not planning a wedding, but I totally relate to feeling overwhelmed. Unless I see folks while swimming, biking, and running, it’s tough to make the time. You’re almost there!

  9. Hang in there girl.! yes always best to worry about yourself first. especially as your big day approaches. You know better than anyone else what you can handle.
    I don’t get stressed at all.. but I always have a lot on my plate.. therefore I have no friends 🙁

  10. I get you completely (although my wedding is still far away and that’s not at all why I’m stressed). Sometimes, on a Friday night, I need to just chill at home and skip the time with friends to recharge a little more. I’ve found that my true friends really don’t care and that nothing changes. Take a break from blogging for a little while, too! We will all understand!

  11. I know exactly what you mean, Hollie. I think it’s great that you’re realizing that this time is just a part of your life, and that things will normalize again soon. I am an introvert, so being extra busy kills me after a while. Sometimes you just need to do less in order to stress less, and that’s a-okay! I remember wedding planning and feeling the same way… not stressed, but just realizing that it was a lot of details to organize. It comes up quick, so enjoy!! 🙂

  12. True friends will ALWAYS be around for you. Take care of yourself and everything will be okay in a few weeks!

  13. I used to stress easily, but whenever I’m busier I tend to stress less (weird I know.) I like keeping my mind busy and not having time to sit and wonder what I’m missing or what’s coming up. Traveling a lot has also alleviated a lot of my stress and now I focus on being in the moment and being happy!

    I’m carrying that attitude into my wedding as well. Neither my fiance or I want a big event or to have to stress out about planning, so we’re going to a Caribbean island and having “just the two of us” ceremony. Easy, cheap, and beautiful. Then we’ll have a big party when we get back! I had a lot of anxiety after we got engaged until we decided to take this route, and I don’t think I could be more excited now 🙂

  14. I defiantly I can relate. I push myself and try and do everything for everyone. then I crash and burn. Im still trying to figure it all out. I hope you are able to get some down time and relax before the big day.

  15. I feel like I’m always saying “I can’t” to social stuff – because I know if I want to stay sane, I need down time. I really need alone time to reenergize myself so I always feel like a crappy friend 🙁

  16. I’m totally a high stress person. I think I live in stress. I’m sure I’ll die 25 years earlier due to my high cortisol levels. I really do think I’m just so used to being constantly stressed though that it’s the norm. And that stress makes things doable for me. I can’t even imagine being relaxed all the time. It’s like the pep to my step. BUT, right now I feel fine. I don’t feel spread thin. I have time for the things I want to do. I don’t feel exhausted from being stressed. I’m tired from working so much at times, but definitely not from feeling overly stressed. Wedding planning sucks. And it is SO NICE when it’s over! Do what you need to do! Everybody understands life can just be that way sometimes!

  17. My God girl don’t be sorry for wanting to focus on the MOST IMPORTANT DAY IN YOUR LIFE! If I were getting married I would probably be a mess and be running around getting nothing done. I get stressed when I put pressure on myself at work. I want to be the more dependable employee and so if I do not spend every extra second helping out, I don’t feel like I’m doing my job.
    That’s stupid. I have to take a step back and remember why I was put on this earth and enjoy myself once in a while. It makes me a better worker and person in the end.
    Good luck! 🙂

  18. As a recent bride myself, October 2014, giiiiiirl I can relate! It’s so hard to balance everything. Go easy on yourself. I didn’t blog much the month of my wedding. But the blog world was still here when I came back 😉 you’ll be so glad when it’s all said and done then you’ll think back, why did I stress?! Breathe. Sleep. Eat. Run. Repeat. Congrats again on your upcoming nuptials!!

  19. I feel like this all the time and I’m not planning a wedding! I’ve just learned as I have grown older that you have to take care of yourself first and make time to decompress. The people who are meant to be in your life will always understand and stick around for you! I hope that you have the best wedding ever followed by some much needed R&R!

  20. i’m the same way.. i go-go-go until i end up sick or so run down that i can’t even get out of bed.
    i believe that a healthy amount of stress is good for all of us; just remember to take moments each day to relax and unwind <3

  21. Do I get stressed easily? Heck Yes. Do I put too much on my plate? All the freaking time. When I was planning my wedding a few years ago I dropped off the face of the blog-planet and pretty much stopped running/training {which in hindsight is maybe the only thing I regret a tiny bit because starting over from scratch really sucked} but it needed to be done. I fell deep down the rabbit hole of pintrest-y crafting, and it took over my life. haha. These days I still have issues with saying yes to everything, I just can’t help it I want to do it all! You are smart for taking care of yourself though, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it and it’s not sad. I don’t feel like enough people these days recognize when they take on too much they just run themselves into the ground so good for you. Enjoy these last few weeks before the wedding they will fly by so fast!

    1. That’s awesome you were so disciplined about it though but I do agree. I would not want to run myself into the ground for it!

  22. Oh my gosh, I am sorry you had a migraine! I’ve never experience one (thankfully) and can only imagine how painful they are!

    Honestly, I think we all go through seasons. I knw that every list everywhere tells you that you have to make time friends no matter what, but sometimes there are spans of weeks where life is ridiculous and you have to make tough choices.
    I think that real friends only want to help you in times like that. They aren’t going to get bratty that you aren’t spending x amount of time with them, they just want to support you!

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