Simply Human

We are all human.

That seems silly to type out.  Every person has made a mistake…or a dozen.  Blogging wise I’ve made countless mistakes and errors.  Life wise I’ve made dozens of mistakes and errors.  While many mistakes taught me lessons, many were just a pain to overcome and I completely regret.  

The point is however, we are all just human.  We all make mistakes and we cannot expect ourselves or others to live up to every standard that is given to us.  We will be disappointed.

As I continue to grow, I continue to realize this.  A bad habit I had when I was younger was placing someone or something on pedistol.  I would think they were perfect.  I would stick to a schedule or routine.  They could do nothing wrong and my schedule could never go array.  When something did go wrong, I got bent out of shape and my day or week was ruined.

Oh no I ordered a red bag and it came in the pink version. My life is ruined.

Oh no this food is taking longer than normal at a restaurant.  I’m never coming back.

Oh no someone had to change plans because our original time was not going to work…we are no longer friends because they clearly don’t care.

I could go on and on.  I held everyone to the standard of perfection, including myself.  If I didn’t maintain perfect grades, do well at sports, do well at relationships (lol what does that even mean?) and whatever else in my life…I got bent out of shape.

It was freaking stressful.  No wonder I was stressed ALL THE TIME.

The classic type A personality.

But over the course of the last year I’ve completely let go of that.  I can relate a lot of it to the point in my personal life when I found out I was moving to New Jersey.  I had just moved to Texas two weeks prior but the military had other plans for us.  Immediately everything I had planned in my life went out the window.  I was supposed to stay in Texas for (at least) four years.  I had just driven 1800 miles out there.  Yet here I am finding myself moving to NJ…and dare I say it…excited?

It turned out it was the best move for not only the pilot but me as well. We love it here.  The night after finding out we were moving, my stress flew out the window.  You would think the opposite in that I would be more stressed but something inside me clicked.

I realized forcing myself to live to such high standards wasn’t going to help any situation.  It was only going to stress me out.  Expecting others to live up to such high expectations wasn’t going to help anyon’es situation either.  It is so important to remember that everyone is only human.  We all mistakes.  We all have highs and lows in our life.

Without that reminder, I was going to cause friendships to fade and tensions to rise.

So here I sit a completely different person than one year ago.  One year ago, I was holding everyone including myself, to an unrealistic expectation.  An expectation that was setting myself up for preventable stress and failure.  I guess that is a throwback Thursday for the day.

We are all human.  We all make mistakes and it’s important to remember that.


24 responses

  1. You’re not a different person than you were before. You’re just a BETTER person. It is all part of growing and learning. Some people do it, and some people don’t. I’ll tell you that I don’t think it is wrong to have high expectations of people, but we infividually own the manner in which we react when someone doesn’t meet those expectations. I can be wrapped pretty tight, but I can also accept that I don’t always get my way or there are just some things that aren’t worth blowing a gasket over.

  2. I think that everyone can resonate with this. I also fall into type A behaviour and suffer from holding people to too high expectations and then later being disappointed – it takes a while to realise that other people, even your idols are human too.

  3. That is a great lesson to learn at your age. It takes a lot of people a lot longer To realize that. Change is normal. Change can be good, it can be bad, but it’s always going to happen. We live and evolve and become (hopefully) better versions of ourselves.

  4. I love this Hollie! I’m your typical type A (crazy nutjob) personality as well–although the past few months it’s really gotten a lot better. i find that i no longer can plan everything out that i want cause Hell, it’s never going to happen how I want it to to a ‘T’. But I can progress towards what makes me happy and roll with the punches everyday, cause everything works out in the end 🙂

  5. A-freaking-men. I’ve been nothing but a little ball of stress this month, and it’s been awful. I’ve gotten better with it over the past few years (especially compared to where I was even a year and a half ago let alone longer), but finding out about the boys completely threw me for a loop, and I felt like I had learned nothing in some ways ha. Granted, I know I have because I did react overall a lot differently than I would have a year ago, but I still wish I hadn’t stressed as much. Lesson learned. I do think it’s interesting, though, that as soon as I decided to take a chance last night and accept the job, even though it wasn’t full time, I immediately felt better. Maybe it’s because I’m actually doing something instead of waiting to hear, but I’m excited for this. Even if it doesn’t end up working out for whatever reason, I’m happy to be taking a risk and seeing what happens!

  6. I’m still so type A but I can go with the flow on some things. When it comes to traveling, I tend to be really laid back. Jess tells me all the time I can’t possibly be type A but I definitely am. I need all the growth you’ve had in the last year! Then maybe I’d be less stressed out! Haha. Glad you’ve become more at peace with things though! You seem like you’re in a good place!

  7. So very, very true! I’m glad you can look back on a year and see how you’ve grown. The blessing that comes with age is learning when to stress and not sweat the small stuff. Because the big stuff starts happening in your late 30s/early 40s and it puts it all in perspective.

  8. What a great message! I am the exact same way wanting everything to be “perfect” all the time and go according to plan. I’m going through fertility treatments right now and this is the first time in I haven’t been able to control every aspect of my life. I’m learning to just go with the flow. It’s been tough and I’m a work in progress.

  9. I hope that you continue to stress less, no one needs that weight on their shoulders. I have watched you grow the past year, and it has been great to see. Learn to trust those around you, ask for help when needed, and above all be honest with yourself. I’m glad that you are starting to like Jersey, and I hope to see you soon!

  10. It’s important to note this stress can come from external sources too: “Oh, everyone is doing x, y, and z, so that means I *have to* too.” That can cause even more internal stress. It’s so tough not to get wrapped up in what others are doing sometimes.

  11. I was just thinking about this same thing the other day. My friend was coming to visit and she stopped off to get a manicure on the way. She texted to let me know she’d be a few minutes late. At first I thought “how selfish! she should be exactly on time!” and back in my younger days I would have been a complete basket case and so rude when she actually arrived. this time I just took a few deep breaths and welcomed her with open arms when she did arrive. what a difference! if i had reacted all crabby then our night would have been ruined. all over 5 minutes? totally not worth of the things i LOVE about getting older is learning this stuff.

    great post, Hollie.

  12. I definitely need to work on this and as years go on i get better. But My friends and family agree that if anything went out away from the original plan, i would go all crazy. How did i end up a nurse in the nicu, i have No idea haha

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