Change of Plans

These last few weeks, I had my first experience with the let’s make plans and appointments only to have them not possible.  To preface this, I’m not complaining nor am I terribly upset but at the moment it was a little bit frustrating.  I know these moments will come up frequently for Tim.

A while ago Tim requested off to come to my brother’s high school graduation.  During that time, we were also going to take engagement photos.  We had set up the scheduled appointment.  We were going to finish looking at venues (including my number 1 choice) and we were hopefully going to put all of that to rest.  We were going to get a lot done with our wedding and see my brother graduate high school.  My plans were perfect.  Diva Wedding Bridezilla LOLZ had it all in control.

We were going to visit his family for a few days, drive down to my house for graduation, look at venues, take pictures and then come back to NJ.  At least that was the plan and what he requested leave for.

That didn’t happen at all.  The Wednesday before Tim informed me it was possible (not 100%…) he would be going to Germany.  Then he a day or two later he found out he had been scheduled to go to Germany.  With that simple text message all the plans flew out the window.

What about touring the wedding venues?

What about engagement photos?

Maybe I’ll just take photos and meme you in…(just kidding of course)

That is how it goes and just like that our plans completely changed.

A lot of emotions went through my brain:

I was happy for him to be able to fly overseas.

I was jealous because I want to go overseas.

I was nervous to cancel on my engagement photos.

I was upset that plans had to be cancelled and his leave denied.


I was happy for him because I know it’s a great opportunity.

Finally, I was supportive because he was just the messenger.  He was doing his job.

Then he found out he wasn’t going to Germany at all.  In fact, he was going to multiple countries in Europe.  Now I was even more jealous.  Realistically it didn’t really matter since he was still going to be gone.

While he was gone his time to come back to the US kept getting pushed further and further back.  First he was supposed to come back the 13th, then the 14th, then 15th…then finally he arrived back on the 18th.  Not really a big deal but it certainly makes planning anything frustrating.

By the 15th I was back in NJ working and doing my thing.  It isn’t like him being delayed four extra days didn’t allow for me to work.

I can’t say it was the most fun experience I had but it was more a learning experience.  I will say that everything worked out in the end.  I know these are lessons I’ll learn along the way but it doesn’t make them any more or less frustrating.

Questions for you:

Did you love your engagement photos?  Where did you take them?

Do you like scheduling or being spontaneous?


31 thoughts on “Change of Plans”

  1. We took our engagement photos in a park in Florence, SC. A friend took them for us, he also did our wedding photos (he’s one of our best friends and actually comes to visit us here, unlike most of my “Florence friends” … you find out your true friend s when you move around, I will say that much….). He’s a great photographer, friend, and did everything significantly cheaper so yeah. They turned out great, I guess I should maybe post some on my blog one day as a throwback post.

    Sorry about everything being rescheduled and stuff. I like how well you took it, you are right that Tim is just doing his job. I do hope the rest of the planning and preparation goes a bit smoother.

  2. I am also finding out that scheduling is nice, but sometimes it is better to be spontaneous. I think that when it comes to running it is hard to schedule way in advance…at the same time stuff fills up. Your engagement photos will happen. I am jealous. I never had them and my friends are posting the cutest pictures on facebook. Just think to yourself, “they will be amazing and even better than they would have been.” Have a great day!

  3. Awww–I think that would be tough to roll with. I’m such a planner; I could probably never make it as a military wife! Good luck getting rescheduled!

  4. Dag nabbit, it’s the classic case of “life happens”. :\ The mixture of emotions you had to go through must’ve been exhausting! I’m happy that it worked out, but I’m sure you were extremely frustrated.

    My engagement photos were from the year 2001, when I lived in Killeen, Texas (hubby [at the time] was stationed at Fort Hood), and best believe, I got the best guy in town…to take our boring-ass pictures in his smelly studio. Pictures taken back then compared to now…I mean wow. Lol

  5. We didn’t have engagement photos taken. Maybe the next time (if there is one) I’ll do it.
    I am definitely a schedule kind of person. Blame it on the Type A personality 🙂

  6. I’m such a scheduling person – I’m totally Type A so the more set in stone things are, the better!
    It’s so great that you’re understanding of having to make the changes. It happens, and sometimes it’s just out of your control. Everything will end up working out 🙂

  7. I am totally a planner. Military life would throw me COMPLETELY off- hats off to you for dealing so well with it! 🙂

  8. Haven’t done my pictures yet, but we are working with my favorite photographer (and good friend) so I’m super excited about them.

    I am such a type A, need a schedule type of person. When on vacation and such, I’m a bit more spontaneous, but a day to day schedule for my work week is so beneficial to me!

  9. Ouch 🙁 I’m sorry hun. I know how frustrating it is to have plans change at the last minute, especially when you’re looking forward to fun things like engagement photos, venue picking, and major life events like graduation. We had to delay our engagement photos till labor day weekend because we couldn’t make any other time work with Joe being gone at the academy. Not major in the scheme of things but still disappointing because I wanted them done sooner. I’m definitely a planner. Trying to get better, but I’m 10000 times more disappointed when I make plans/appointments and then have to change them for some reason (if I’m really looking forward to them). Something I’ll have to get over, though, since this will be life when Joe is officially a state police officer

  10. We did ours in a studio, which was the fashion back then … and as a result, fun outdoor spontaneous ‘selfies’ (well before the age of cell phones or digital cameras) are more special than the formal engagement portraits.

    I am pretty well planned, but less so than my wife, but we have learned to loosen up through the years. It is all a matter of appreciating the life you have … and last year when my job had me traveling from NY to Kentucky pretty much every week from Feb through August … ugh, that was a challenge! But now since then I am back in a project at the facility 5 miles from home!

      1. Look at it this way – I have been working post-college for 26 years and last year I did more travel than all those other years COMBINED. At least the kids aren’t little anymore … but still, yuk.

  11. We didn’t get official engagement photos done, but we had a friend who does photography as a hobby take some photos for our save the date while we were all in Disney World together. Nothing special. I don’t really think either of us cared that much about engagement photos.

    I like to have plans, but I also like to keep them somewhat loose. I feel aimless and disorganized with nothing, but having a tight schedule and very specific plans can also feel restrictive and burdensome. So I think a combination of scheduling and spontaneity works best for me.

  12. I’m sorry you had to experience the frustration that comes with having little (ok, no) control with the military. My husband is Navy and while we didn’t have the exact situation happen, there has been times where our plans have come second or, quite frankly, not happened at all. All I can offer is promise that despite the pain-in-the-ass change of plans, it is well worth the commitment in the long term. Keep your head up – and way to go with being able to be supportive 🙂

  13. Ack… sorry to hear about all the SNAFUs, girl… I can definitely relate to it being super annoying to have to deal with that kind of thing — it happens with me and my man all the time too. But, while annoying, it’s definitely not the end of the world, and I think it’s super important to be able to learn how to adapt to changing circumstances like that. Makes life easier to handle in general 🙂

  14. How frustrating! My husband is in the Navy and although we didn’t have the same situation happen, we have certainly experienced our fair share of plans coming second (or not at all) to the military. I can offer the knowledge that long-term, it is 100% worth it though. Hang in tight and good job managing the “supportive wife role” 😉

  15. I definitely prefer to be spontaneous! I do stuff when I have time and save myself the frustration of having to constantly rearrange my plans.

  16. I’ve read all the comments and am totally impressed with everyone’s ability to go with the flow. Being understanding and able to adapt is super important and is so NOT the way that I initially handle things 🙂 This got me into trouble in an early relationship. If plans got switched around, I didn’t know how to cope and would blame my boyfriend (or anyone) even if it wasn’t in his control. I think (hope!) I’ve learned over the years to fight my inclination to get upset when things don’t go as planned and am much more able to turn it around to a more positive situation. Reading the comments here has been cool for me because I like to learn and get other peoples’ perspectives on how to deal with things.

    I like how you presented this, Hollie. I’m sure that you were upset but the way you are able to stand back and analyze the situation is a really great personality trait. And it helps others (or it helps me anyway!) to stand back and see how to apply it to their (my) own life.


  17. We didn’t do engagement photos. Since we were living in OH, but getting married in VA, it didn’t feel worth an extra trip to get done, I think I would’ve felt differently if my husband was in the military and we couldn’t take photos together whenever we wanted. My SIL “surprised” us with a session when we went home for the Christmas before our wedding, but it was an amateur photographer and all wrong (location, outfits since we didn’t know we were having it done, ect.). We have plenty of amazing wedding photos all over our house now so I don’t even feel I missed out.

      1. Leesburg, up in Northern VA. His parents live in Arlington so it just seemed easier to do our wedding up there. My parent’s neighbor’s were happy because our reception venue was across the street from their neighborhood 🙂

  18. That totally would’ve thrown me off too. It’s frustrating when plans have to change, even if it’s for a good reason. I’d love to be more spontaneous, but I’m a huge planner; I need to know exactly what is going on at all times. 🙂

  19. I’m the same way and I was in the Army too! But I don’t like having my plans messed up! The while roll with the punches thing? I don’t do that very well. But surely with an active duty pilot husband, you’ll grow accustomed to Tim leaving on a whim. At least he didn’t suddenly get deployed right before your wedding day, right?!

  20. I can imagine that being so frustrating. It’s so hard not to be a little annoyed about it even if it’s not at all his fault. I’m definitely a scheduler so I feel you. Our only engagement pictures so far were taken right after we got engaged by the photographer Mike had come to the park to snap some hidden shots. I want to get more done, though!

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