Every time I type this post, I don’t know where to begin. Maybe it’s because I’m letting you into a personal aspect of my life or maybe it’s because I don’t know how to say “I’m struggling and life is not easy”. I’m basically going to write out my current emotions and feelings and hopefully they flow well enough together. Maybe this post will stay in drafts forever, who knows? (Edit to add: I have 37 posts still in drafts that never “made it”).
This month Tim is traveling. When we did long distance for a year I can truly say it wasn’t as difficult. This could be because I was “used” to distance or the fact that I didn’t live with him like I do now. I don’t know but quite honestly I didn’t sit around crying every day because my (then) boyfriend lived 2000 miles away.
Now he’s been gone for a week and I’m already finding if more difficult then 2012. I am still not sitting around crying but it is now much more difficult. I have gotten used to living with him. I have created a comfort zone in NJ the last 7 months.
I have realized I have a lot of great friends in NJ (from Oiselle teammates to coworkers to friends) that have been so kind to me. I’ve gone out to lunch on off days, I’ve gone for runs and they have been there to chat. I also have family and friends outside of the state that have always been there for me when I need them. It is truly great.
The fact is that it is still hard. When your significant other travels a lot for work (whether it’s military or not) you need a good backbone to keep you busy. I’m not saying this to whine or complain I am saying this to just point out the facts.
If I didn’t have a job and other things to keep me busy I would be pretty miserable. In fact even if Tim was here and I didn’t have a job and things to keep me busy I would be pretty miserable.
I am slowly creating and defining myself in New Jersey. I’m filling my schedule and day with work, with hanging out with friends or with keeping myself busy. I’m not sitting at home waiting and being bored and lonely because the hours I’m home are harder.
I want to finish this post by saying I’m not being whiney and I’m not complaining. I have a lot of time to reflect on my life and realize I am truly happy with where I have gone this last year. Though it’s been an adventure I have enjoyed the ride and the friends I have made and people I’ve connected with.
Questions for you:
Have you ever done a long distance relationship?
Do you travel frequently?