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Opening Up About My Injury Part 2

If you missed part 1

After my doctor called me with the news of my fracture, I continued on the elliptical.  I didn’t know whether to cry…whether to be relieved that I had a diagnosis and wasn’t a mystery…I was just in a state of shock.  I ended up being in the gym for a total of 2 hours, in my own world.  I was on the elliptical with my headphones in, no music playing, no TV on and just facing a wall zoned out. 

Seeing anyone and talking to anyone was not what I wanted. 

I went back home and just had a meltdown.  I cried the entire night. I layed in my bed moping and I will never be ashamed of that.  I felt like I had worked so hard for nothing.  Nothing at all.  Sure I had PRed along the way but I knew I was capable of so much more. Though I knew none of that mattered anymore because this was not something I wanted to run through.  Could I run through it?

I questioned that…I had run ten milers and not realized my foot was broken.  It just felt like a bruise.  I had run two cross country races and placed well and posted great times and just thought I had a mild case of plantar fasciitis.

I could treat plantar fasciitis aggressively and then just take a month or two off after season to find myself and realize life after college running.   

No, I was not going to bring myself to do that.  I ran five miles the day after finding out it was broken.

Five miles (and didn’t injure myself anymore then I was) and decided it wasn’t worth it to me to run through.  It was enough pain that I would probably be taking IBP every time I ran a race.  Not every time I ran, but every time I ran a raced or did tempo work.   I would be miserable running and if I wasn’t racing at my best…was it worth it?

The following Monday I had a doctor’s appointment to figure everything else out.  There wasn’t a need to cast it because it wasn’t a Jones fracture, it was perfectly in line and just had to calcify back over.  So if that was okay, then how would we treat this “plantar fasciitis”?

You don’t have plantar fasciitis was the first thing my doctor said.  There is a reason it’s not going away with treatment for plantar fasciitis.  My first response was typical: Who, what, when, where, why, HOW did this happen?

 How did this cyst lodge itself above my fascia, which in turn created a tight fascia in turn breaking my bone?  How does that even happen?  

Do you know his response?  What probably irritated me the most of anything.

Well you see Hollie, you had the luck that your blood clotted in your foot…it could have clotted in your arm…in your stomach..in your brain but it chose your foot.

Oh so you mean I could have had a cyst anywhere in my body and it was just BAD FREAKING LUCK that it was in my heel? 

Awesome..great…thanks body…so much for that. 

The treatment for this though was much more aggressive.  Since there was a full layer of muscle between my skin and foot, they couldn’t just drain the cyst.  They couldn’t just remove it.  My entire plantar fascia would have to be cut for that to be removed at its state.  (That would mean not running for 1-2 years!).

Treating the cyst became the number one concern because it could rebreak more bones in my foot and the first break would just heal naturally.  I immediately went on anti-inflammatory meds that made my body hold in 10 pounds of water.  Not exaggerating in the slightest, for the month I was on the meds, I could not fit into my pants.

The month of September went by and I finally was able to go off the meds.  Not much had changed with my body and cyst minus I was not bloated anymore.  My bone was on the way to heal so that was glorious but my cyst…my cyst was bigger than before.   So I got a muscle scrape which helped temporarily.  For about a week, I thought I was healed.

But the cyst quickly grew back to its normal size within a week.  I continued stretching, foam rolling and everything but nothing was working.  I was pretty positive that I would have to get my fascia cut and take a year or two off of running.  I was also in a state of depression. Not knowing if your injury is going to ever heal is far worse than knowing you need to wait X number of months to heal.

My doctor recommended a cortisone shot and I decided within five minutes I guess I could suck it up and get it.  Never have I been in so much pain in my life.  The shot itself was given to me in the arch of my foot.  My arch was frozen and then he stuck the cortisone in there.  I didn’t feel the needle go in but when the needle hit the fascia, I have never been in so much pain in my life.  I didn’t know whether to cry or what to do.

The following few days I was in more pain than ever before.  I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t go to the gym…I couldn’t do anything.  I had pretty much thought that running in the next year was out of the question since I couldn’t walk without crutches.  The doctor had said that it would either cure me within 72 hours or it would go back to how it was.  He did not say it would ever get worse.

And that is what it did.   My foot was so swollen you could physically see something was in there that did not belong.  So I had the exact opposite of what cortisone was supposed to do, it had in fact inflamed with fascia more than before.

Stay tuned for the final part…sometime soon.

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22 thoughts on “Opening Up About My Injury Part 2”

  1. I can’t believe all that you’ve gone through! I guess we’ve gotten snippets of it over the past couple months but never the full story at once. It really puts things into perspective. Mentally, it must be more frustrating than anything you’ve ever gone through. Between the reduced/limited exercise, the dreams being crushed, and the uncontrollable weight gain, I would literally be an entire mess. You’ve stayed so strong through this whole thing, I’m so glad it’s finally looking better for you 🙂

  2. WHYYY couldn’t this happen to someone that likes to swim, or ride a bike (I know you like to swim, but I mean someone that only swims) that way they could still workout without worry!? Is it mean to wish that!? I am so sorry this has caused you problems and pain. You are a strong mofo though and you WILL be stronger in the end. Keep fighting girl!

  3. 🙁 ugh sounds terrible! I was happy to not get a shot for my PF… I don’t think I would deal well with it- your one tough cookie girl!

  4. Aw Hollie, I feel ya, injuries are so tricky and literally detrimental to one’s mentality. There are so many ups and downs, one day you think you are getting better, but to only be brought down to what you think is the Ultimate Low the next day. I’m so looking forward to the next post in the series.

    P.S. I think we are on the same brainwave with these injury posts 🙂

  5. girl this is crazy! CRAZY. I am so sorry, and I am waiting to hear the rest! Your story is also giving me perspective too.

  6. Damn Hollie, I’m so sorry that your going through this. Good for you for writing this post/series of posts on what is going on in detail. Just the fact alone that it’s a foot injury and your a runner makes me feel so bad, I mean seriously worst combination possible. Injuries blow, but your strong and this post alone shows just how strong! Keep rocking.

  7. Just by interacting with you via twitter you really are a great role model for injured runners. You had every right to bitch, whine, mope, etc but you rarely did. Only when you were in extreme pain did you mention your injury. I’m in awe that you still managed to have such an optimistic outlook when it came to take time off running. 😉

  8. well I will say that it’s probably best that your blood didn’t clot in your brain…cuz then you’d be dead….lol but in all seriousness, I do really feel for you here. I’ve been injured for over a year and I know how frustrating it is to not have answers, to have to try a million things and with no results….it’s just awful, not knowing what’s going to happen to you, not knowing whether you’ll ever be fit and racing again. But hey – you got through it! It sounds like you’re more or less back on track – way to stick with it and work through it and not give up 🙂

  9. I had no idea that the story behind this injury was so devastating to you 🙁 You went through so much in the past few weeks and I’m so happy to see you’re in a better place! As annoying as it may be to hear this, I do believe that everything happens for a reason (even if it takes weeks/months/years to figure out the reason). This experience will make you a stronger runner and a stronger individual as a whole!

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