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Sophomore Year Depression and New Beginnings

Sophomore year was a very challenging year for me. Though I don’t mention it often because there hasn’t been any real reason or need, I was severely depressed going into it. I didn’t want to go back to school.  I had had a lot of medical problems that brought me really close with my parents and it was VERY hard for me to leave.  (unrelated to anything…and no before you ask, it had nothing to do with food or an an eating disorder either…).  I was about 90% away from going to the local college near my house.

My family drove to visit me several times (and yes that is about 12 hours). We went to Niagara Falls too!

But I made it through.  When I say the first couple of weeks were rough, I cried (for no reason) in my room daily.   My boyfriend at the time, was very good to me and really helped me through that part of my life.  I’ll never be able to thank him enough because I know I was a tad off.  This was probably the hardest few months of my life.  I was never homesick freshman year, but sophomore year was a big culture shock.  

Kierstin and I (my freshman roommate) remained close!

So first, I learned that you must put yourself first.  The nurses recommended that I move out of my room because I was severely depressed into somewhere where I could have my own personal space (I’m still pretty close with my two week sophomore roomie and she def understood!) .  I actually ended up moving into a single in a suite with an RA, Jackie, who I love to death (I’m actually going to her wedding in June!).

Suitemate love (Jackie is in the brown), Rachel is in the flowery dress.

Second, with the right network of friends, you can make it through anything you put your mind too.  After my medical problems had simmered and
I had gotten the right medications to handle them, I slowly began to readjust to college life.   Once I didn’t have to worry about them-I just became a lot happier again.  

Coincidently, this was also my best year of collage swimming and I moved up the ranks to the top female distance swimmer on our team.  (For this year only).

underwater shot at our championship meet! Who doesn’t love those?

Finally, your interests change and I found that out when I ran my *first* road race that I quite enjoyed and it all lead to my running spiral.  As well as starting to paint to relieve stress.  (For me, exercise does NOT relieve stress like painting does).  

Question for you: What did you learn sophomore year of college (high school)? 

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19 responses

  1. hmmm sophomore year was actually pretty good for me. It was after the summer I decided to get healthy and I lost 30lbs, started working out regularly and it was an all our good year…. much better than my horrible freshman year!

  2. Thanks for sharing this personal story, sophomore year was a rough one for me as well. It was the year I made a really close friend and lost her in the same year. Rough. I am glad you can look back at your experience and find some lights in the dark moments. Glad you stuck with it!

  3. Sophomore year was my toughest year as well! I was living in an apartment and my eating habits went down the drain. Being in the apartment gave me freedom I wasn’t ready for at the time and I gained almost 15 pounds due to all the drinking I was free to do. I also decided to rush a sorority. Now, looking back, it was the best decision of my life but at the time I was crushed when houses I loved didn’t ask me back the next day. It was a serious hit to my self esteem. But it brought me to my sorority where I made my best friends and future bridesmaids. It’s funny, everything really does happen for a reason 🙂

  4. Your painting is super cool :). And yes- it is VERY stress relieving, in a totally different way than running because running can relieve or cause stress for me.

    Sophomore year of college was when I changed my major to professional writing, which is what I graduated with, so I definitely learned a lot about myself and what I want to do.

  5. For me, freshman year was the hardest–I came to school loving it and then suddenly about a month in I got totally blindsided by homesickness. I was also a fan of the crying-daily-in-my-room routine (and my insane roommate didn’t help). Since I wasn’t at home being constantly monitored, my ED got significantly worse and by the end of the year I was forced to drop my ballet major because I was too sick to dance.

    Sophomore year, though, was by FAR the best of my three years as an undergrad. I was as close to recovery as I’ve ever been, I had an amazing group of friends and a great boyfriend, and I threw myself into music and made a lot of progress.

  6. This is a great post! I also read your’s about freshman year and really enjoyed it. I also got very depressed sophomore year (towards the end), but I learned a lot. Your painting is really awesome, thanks for sharing your story! 🙂

  7. That year sounds really rough. :/
    I’m really nervous about adjusting to college this fall, mostly because I love being alone so much and I am going to have to learn how to be around so many people constantly – on top of being away from home and everything I love. I will definitely be homesick. 😦
    My sophomore year of high school was probably my worst, although the first semester of my junior year was just as bad. but at least I’d switched to homeschool so I didn’t have to deal with the ridiculous public school I had been at.

  8. My sophomore year of high school was when I discovered running so it was a major turning point for me. Though this year has brought about depression for me, so I know how awful it is to feel like crap all the time and I am really trying to get myself out of it before I go away.

  9. since i’ve only been to freshman year of college so far, i would have to say it was probably the most difficult year of my life. my eating disorder and depression were controlling my life. so that’s why i’m transferring next year! the school i was at did not help at all with my problems. it actually probably made them worse

  10. Just caught up on my blog reading. First, I love what you would have named your blog via freshman year. Second, I had the most trouble freshman year and not sophomore. My boyfriend broke up with my over labor day weekend freshman year, my grandma died in september, my grandfather died in january, I moved 2/5 hours away from anyone I know, and I was on a team with people who only partied when I did none of that. It was a rough transition. The thing I would tell those heading to college is that there are people for everyone. So what if I didn’t want to hang out with the swimmers…they wouldn’t hate me if I found other friends. I definitely was the one crying in my room every day with a huge bag of peanut butter m and ms. I have definitely learned that any situation is what you make of it.

  11. wow, love the painting! my sophomore year was my low point, as well. it was my worst year of swimming because I was so miserable and I ended up transferring schools. I learned that your interests, values, and goals change as you grow and I learned to never take for granted your family, your hometown, and beautiful days

  12. My soph yr of college was tough too!! However just like you, I began running. I ran xc and track my since middle school, but I never excelled(just mediocre). So, I had no plans of running on a team in college. But I did because I beat some of the xc girls in a local race. Running on a team helped me in many ways. I was missing something and like you ,I just wasnt very happy. But xc made me feel like I had a family. I learned then that I could run!!! 🙂

  13. I want to see more of your paintings girl! You are so talented….you should do a whole post on them!!! 🙂

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