Tag Archives: personal

Real Talk Part 2

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I did something liberating for myself this week and I’ll continue to do so.  After last week when I posted a skeeved and annoyed rant about the healthy living blogging and all that jazz I took a real step back.  I realized I don’t, in fact, care.  At all.

I don’t care if you love the healthiest of all health food.

I don’t care if you if you eat exclusively super raw nut butters.

Or oatmeal with 12 different strange chia seed toppings in it.

If you eat McDonalds…fine.

If you hate McDonalds and would never indulge in it..fine.

You see my friends, all of these are your personal choices and ranting on my blog isn’t going to change that.  Point blank, I enjoy reading your blogs but I don’t live to read them.  Similary to not living to work out, living to eat, living to run…I don’t live to blog.

 I live to live and enjoy all aspects of my life.   

I also don’t care what stereotype of blog you may or may not fall into.  Running?  Healthy living?  Swimming?  DIY?  Fashion?

If I find your life interesting…chances are I’ll read it.  If I roll my eyes…maybe I’ll still read it because I find it interesting.

Here is my own personal opinion.   So many bloggers are trying so hard to convince readers that they are not like the rest.  They are different.  When you spend 9 posts out of 10 doing that then it becomes boring and you are blogging to an audience not for yourself.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m not here to diagnose anyone with any sort of issue…if I don’t agree with your food choices fine.  Sure you like strange things that I’ve never even heard of that is your choice not mine.  I don’t think there is a set “healthy living blog” genre.

What I do think are there are plenty of unhealthy habits in every direction and point blank…I have a life outside of blogging and I’m not here to obsess over that or my blog.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my fair share of snarking but I enjoy living outside the internet as well.  

Anxiety.

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I’ve wanted to write this post for a while but haven’t really been in a mood for it.  I recently attended a seminar (well last night) and with other events that have happened as of late it really got me thinking.  

I’ve alluded to it a lot on my blog and whatever other social media forms but this semester has been hard for me.  (Semester…I can say that since I still work on a college campus).  It isn’t the cold, it isn’t that I hate my job or have no friends (the more I dig into the public health world, the more I love it.  I have enough friends for me…).   I honestly don’t really know what it is.

I’m extremely anxious.  I have mentioned that I have social anxiety several times and even wrote a post about it last year.  It seemed to have dissipated a bit in the fall and it was never something at the top of my mind, even while injured I wasn’t really worried or anxious about anything.  So with that, I thought maybe I had finally outgrown that part of my life (and it went with college) and was ready to make big leaps to be more approachable.

The fact is-I’m not. 

I’m not sharing this with you for you to feel sorry for me or to give me wisdom about how you suffer from social anxiety too.  (Let’s all have anxiety issues and talk about them together).  Being fearful of new things and having anxiety are two completely different things.

Anyways, so what changed coming back over winter?  I’m living in a new environment, and honestly with work, my clock is a little bit different than others. I still don’t stay up and drink, it can still be 10pm on a Saturday and I want to go to bed…that’s just me and I defend that whole heartily.  When you are in an environment that staying up until 2 or 3 is the norm…well that would be uncomfortable for everyone.

It probably shocks you when I say that I can communicate far better in writing then I can in real life.  I’m completely honest about that fact.  You should also probably know I don’t just go around calling people out and screaming vulgarities at the world like I could on my blog if I wanted.  I’m more mellow and go with the flow really.  Normally I’m the you make the decisions and I’ll go with it type of person.  If you have met me in real life, you know that I am essentially loose unedited cannon of what I write and I need that time to gather my thoughts.  Some posts (obviously) I don’t edit as well as others…but the fact is people judging me on the internet doesn’t bother me at all…People judging me in real life does.  A lot.

I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with this post per say.  I wanted to gather my thoughts and see where I was really at. I want to clarify, it’s not that I’m terribly unhappy right now but I can tell you, I’m not exactly that happy.  I enjoy work, I enjoy hanging out with my friends, I enjoy running…I think being no longer in college and somewhat independent has put me into a new and maybe different set of anxiety.  Going from college to the real world is hard, especially when you have about 5 different life factors to look at it within the next 4 months.  Where is the flip turn and perfect streamline into the real world?

PMB

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Hello blog friends!  I can’t believe how many people are liking my facebook page.  I know 40 is not a lot but for me, I’m super jazzed.  That should really be my brag.  Look mom, I have 40 friends!  I do have to say when my mom’s doll clothes company liked me, I got really excited.  You guys know how close I am with my family.

Welcome to another week of Physical, mental and brags.  As the weather decides to be a bit friendlier towards my life, I find it a lot easier to find positivity.  I know a lot of people complain about the cold and I can honestly say I’m one of them. 

pbm

But there are fun things to do in the cold.

Physical: Physically, I’m SLOWLY started to notice a change in my core and ab strength.  Though I haven’t been exactly the most consistent and best core worker..I have been doing it daily and I’m slowly starting to see a change in my abs.  Am I working on core strength to get ripped? NO, but it’s always nice.

Mental: Mentally.  I am going to point blank tell you…I love my job.  If you could pick up the center that I work, move it to somewhere closer to my family and Tim, I’d be living the dream.  I wish it didn’t come down to that though.

Brag: I am now living on a budget.  Let me tell you (I’m telling you a lot of things right?)…for someone who didn’t have a lot during college (yes I worked my butt of high school and summer so that I didn’t have to WORRY about money during actual college years) this is rough.  Considering my savings is slowly decreasing I am really learning to budget.  I am learning that buying everything on sale, coupons and REFILLABLE coffee mugs are the way to go.  (Yes, I treat myself to gas station coffees).  Not the starbucks $4 cappuccinos but I still treat myself occasionally.  I was never an excessive spender, but now more then ever I’m more weary of my spending habits.

I’m learning sometimes you do have to say no if it’s nothing something you are interested in.   For those interested, I use the spending app on iphone and it is seriously amazing. I track everything.

I apologize for the lack of photos…I had nothing that related and I’m not taking pictures of my stomach and abs.

Question for you:  What are your PMB’s of the week?

Sick Dayz

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I had planned to have a wordless Wednesday today…but then I got sick yesterday (Tuesday) and had way too much time on my hands.   I didn’t really realize I was sick until I woke up with a runny and stuffy nose.  My main problem was the cornea abrasions (think scratching your eyeball).  Being sick I can handle but scratching my corneas…that hurts…a lot.  So I’ve been stuck 

Gotta wear them glasses..

Gotta wear them glasses..while the corneas heal.

Moving on.

I haven’t been sick or needed a sick day (due to normal people reasons) in quite some time.  I honestly can’t even remember the last day I had the flu or a cold.  When I woke up, I pretty much knew I wasn’t going to be able to productive.

It wasn’t a total loss of a day because I found out I got a race number for the Lake Effect Half Marathon in Syracuse in a few weeks.  I’ve been wanting to do this race for a couple of years (last year it sold out but I also broke my arm so that would be fun…running on ice with a broken arm…this year I was closed out because it reached max capacity).  Anyways when I checked my email this morning after 13 hours glorious of sleep that a spot had opened up for me I was more than excited.

So excited I celebrated with another nap…upping me to 15 hours of sleep for the day.

And then I did one more thing and made fueledbylolz a facebook page.  If you want to like it…I’d like that…so I’d like that you are liking me…weird…but if not I completely understand too.   Maybe if I get 100 likes I’ll do a giveaway…isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?  Or do I do the giveaway first to get the likes…I don’t know…I’d have to find some useless foodie junk to give away first I guess.  Anyways-

Other then that I rested, ate lots of pancakes (because it was national pancake day) and just watched TV.  It was a great day.  I hate to move back to the real world today.

Chocolate pancakes and greek yogurt...oh look I'm feeling better.

Chocolate pancakes and greek yogurt…oh look I’m feeling better.

Questions for you:

What do you do on sick days?

Does your blog have a facebook page? 

SSSSSaturday

By Posted in Personal Tagged , , 41 Comments

I don’t normally do Saturday posts but my life has been running smoothly lately.  My personal life…my running life…my work life…the lolzen life.  I don’t do marvelous Monday’s either but I can just add an S word to the start of this post and well…it’s a blog title…(because isn’t that what “link up posts are? ) naturally I asked twitter for some advice on adjectives starting with s.

Super: My life has been super because…I’m falling back into routine.  I’ve accepted it’s cold here…I’ve accepted that I’ll stay inside and be a happy little saucy clam.

mecold

Spicy: My life has been spicy because this photo screams spicy.  I also like Mexican food…spicy.

pumpkinenchiladas

Smushy: My life has been smushy because the ice is melting and the roads are smushy.  Not my life but relevant.  Also I feel smushy is some sort of romantic word too and that has been going well.

snow4

Snarky: My life has been snarky because last week I posted a blog to see how long I could hold your righteous attention  for.  Incase you participated and were curious (I know a few people told me they were) about 50% of the commenters picked up on it that day.  ;) Super.  Does’t matter to me either way LOL.

Saucy: Work has been saucy, and finally having a paycheck is satisfactory.

Here is a photo of me giving my dad a check.

Here is a photo of me giving my dad my first ever hand written check

Special: My first paycheck went to a special flight back home over the college Spring Break.

Sassy: I won a pair of leggings (YAY more black leggings) from Brittany’s giveaway!

because I have 2 bins full of leggings

because I have 2 bins full of leggings

Leave it to my homie Harris to say slutty: That my life has not been.

harris1

Question for you: What S’s are you loving this week?