Since today is practically my yearaversary (it’s like my long term boyfriend…) and considering I don’t quite broadcast every single personal detail on my blog but I have sorted hinted at things if you read daily, I thought I would share why last August I decided blogging was a good idea.
We have to rewind a little bit to when I was barely legal-as in when I was 18. My freshman year of college was great. In fact, honestly it was one of my favorite years of my life. As I was telling my friend last week , freshman year of college changes you. No matter what.
I didn’t quite change the beginning of freshman year or go crazy. I got that all taken care of in high school. Seriously I was more of a social college student in high school than college. It was the end of freshman year that had more of an impact of my life.
It all started in April after my backpacking class. I can clearly remember one day having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a bagel on campus. PB&J used to b e one of my favorite quick lunches when I was between classes. I essentially lived off of that and lucky charms freshman year. (I know-not pancakes).
And then I got terribly sick a few hours later. As in-I couldn’t leave my bed, I was so weak. All I did was vom (sorry if that grosses ya). I thought maybe it was food poisoning.
I recovered after getting about 16 hours of sleep and missing 3 classes. I watched an entire season of America’s Next Top Model while laying in bed because I couldn’t sleep and just kept vomiting.
So the next day when I felt perfectly fine-I just chalked it up to food poisoning and went about my daily routine. Class-gym-sleep. A few weeks passed and that lovely night didn’t enter my mind at all. I mean why would it-do you often think about when you get sick weeks prior?
And then it happened again. This time I had pancakes (I know) with pure Vermont Maple syrup. Three hours later, I was in the hospital-completely sick. They were going to take me three hours south to Syracuse because they had no idea what was wrong and I couldn’t keep anything down and was half delirious.
But they didn’t. This time since it was about a month after my previous experience and with finals coming up, they told me to monitor everything I ate. They gave me a little journal and I was to write everything down and how I felt. I saw a nutritionist and doctor weekly to make sure that I felt okay. It felt strange but I did it and lasted throughout finals without any problems.
When I got home my parents were worried. We went to all the doctors in town. I wasn’t lactose intolerant. I wasn’t this. I wasn’t that. They kept narrowing down the list. For a fun fact, I had to take about 5 pregnancy tests. I know it’s routine but I would always banter back with no way in hell I’m catching the preggs.
Then they asked that question.
Do you have a family history of diabetes?
And that is when everything came crashing down.
They do. Every single one of my relatives on both my mother and fathers side have diabetes. Lucky for my parents-it skipped a generation. For both of them. It skipped a full generation and came right now to me. So anyways within a matter of days they had me prescribed to some of the best medicines known to help. Of course, nothing will ever cure or fully prevent me from becoming diabetic but the longer I wait the better.
When they first told me-I hated my doctor. He gave me list after list of foods that were just “out of the question and would probably make me sick all the time as my body grew”. Foods I would have to probably remove for the rest of my life. Foods that I kind of loved. I was a freshman (well now sophomore) in college. I wasn’t worried about my healthy eating. I was worried about how much sugar can I top my food with. They told to severely limit most sugar laden desserts, most alcohol, most foods that were just concentrated in sugar.
Even with the medicines there are almost always foods that I can guarantee that will make me sick:
- Jams. Normal jams and jellies and fruit preservatives will never sit well in my stomach
- Syrups such as honey, maple and other assorted sticky srup. Once again, almost pure sugar
- Normal sodas-Honestly, I cannot even taste the difference of normal sodas and diet anymore which is a huge problem. I rarely ever order soda in restaurants anymore because I have had too many times (well 4) that the waitress has messed up and given me a normal coke or whatever instead of diet. I get so sick at night and within a few hours I know exactly what happened. I mean it’s honestly a common mistake and it’s not like they were purposefully doing it so I can’t be too angry.
- Fruit juices (mostly cranberry and weird flavors…orange juice isn’t as bad but I was never a big fruit juice fan to begin with)
- I know there are more things such as GU’s and gels with running but I won’t go into much detail because they just produce similar effects.
My medicines have given me the opportunity to continue some of my favorite foods though-thank god.
- Sugary cereals-I kind of love cinnamon toast crunch so it makes me extremely happy that I can eat bowls on end of cereal. And not crappy unflavoured cereal and not for breakfast because that is what pancakes are made for. I mostly have cereal for lunch or for a snack at night.
- Chocolate and ice-cream(Uh yeah. At first they told me I wouldn’t be able too. Hell. No). They told me I should have sugar free ice-cream and I really just think that is like ice.
- Alcohol-So I don’t drink very often but I do have that option.
As I continued throughout sophomore year and to the end-people would often ask me about being prediabetic and what I had to limit and what I needed to eat lots of and I guess it fascinated them. Some of friends from another website (holla Allison and Kristen!) even convinced me to start my own personal blog. I would food blog all the time and wordpress gave me so many more options. It was great.
I think this year has given me so much personal growth and acceptance about the whole situation. It was almost like during sophomore year, I wanted people to feel sorry for me. I wanted people to see that I couldn’t go out and eat a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream without spending a night in the ER. I wanted them to be like oh Hollie that is terrible and blah blah blah. During this year I have grown to accept that isn’t in the cards and I have slowly started removing more and more about being prediabetic from my food posts.
Because honestly, what I eat is working for me. I don’t talk about being prediabetic because I don’t feel like it is the end of the world anymore. I will talk about it when it comes up but I won’t spend countless posts rambling about it, because my life doesn’t suck. In fact, it is quite awesome and I would prefer to focus on more happy and fabulous topics.